A day for me.

The last few weeks months of my life have been crazy. Too busy, too tired, too rushed. No time for me, sleep, food, gardening, knitting, seeing friends and all that kind of stuff. Today was about me. I had lots of things I should do - laundry for example, which is sort of happening but it is taking a very long time. There are also things I want to do - catch up with friends. Finally there are things I did do which I greatly enjoyed.

This morning I slept until 9am and felt rested. I find that if I get up earlier I am too tired and really need to sleep until 9 at least a couple days of the week. You say - why don't you go to bed earlier? I say I think 9 pm is a darn good bedtime. So yes sometimes I get around 11-12 hours of sleep (and it makes me a much happier person).

Then I decided I needed some time for me. I went to a whole bunch of yard sales to feed my inner crap shopper. I look them up on Craigs List and make a plan so I am not driving in a hundred different directions.

I ended up buying (are you ready?): a box window fan for $7 - brand new in the box, never used. A queen sized cotton blanket - brand new, original packaging for $5. Ten skeins of yarn for a total of $10 - several are some good quality yarn. Two boxes of cookie cutters that I will use for felting and a roll of fancy ribbon for making fascinators for $2. An entire brown paper bag of assorted lightbulbs for $1.

Then I went to the crafts store and for $8 bought enough to make 6 fascinators in varying shades of purple. Finally, I came home and ate lunch, did some gardening, processed more laundry, and rescued the neighbors dog from our basement (he tried to meet our cat unsuccessfully earlier), looked at more laundry.

Now I am sitting on my completely unmade bed, realizing that is is 245 in the afternoon and I have not gotten together with the friend I wanted to see because I took so much time for myself. But I feel like a better person for having taken time for me.

Before blogging I read a few other blogs and realized two things: Tomorrow is National Cancer Survivors' Day (feel free to join me in not giving a shit about it - for some reason I really don't care this year). And today is exactly seven years from my breast cancer diagnosis. And for some reason I don't really give a crap about it as well.

But I guess I am still here and that is what is really important. Go me!

PS What is a fascinator? Its one of those fancy hats on a headband that the princesses in England wear but are quite fashionable as an accessory for holidays and the Kentucky Derby.

I took a step back

Even though I only work part time, sometimes I feel as if I am rushing from one thing to another all week long. Recent weekends have included family and other events where I have not had the downtime.The problem is at the end of the weekend I do not feel rested physically or emotionally.

This weekend we ran away. Yesterday had a predicted high around 47. Based on that and the fact that it was low tide at 1030am, we ran away and walked on the beach for an hour. It was a sunny day. It was low tide. There were people with horses all over the beach. It was amazing. It was what we needed. You will note the snow on the dunes in my blurry picture.The water temperature was 36 so we opted not to go in.

We stopped for an unhealthy meal of fried seafood and came home and relaxed and had a healthy dinner. Yesterday topped out with a high of 55.
Today I slept in. I feel much better physically and emotionally.

Tomorrow will be a long day. I am having an EMG in the morning to test for carpal tunnel. That is a not fun test of needles and jolts. I wont feel relaxed after that. And then I will go to work if I can. Ick. Not fun. I will just ignore that until tomorrow.

A day for me.

The last few weeks months of my life have been crazy. Too busy, too tired, too rushed. No time for me, sleep, food, gardening, knitting, seeing friends and all that kind of stuff. Today was about me. I had lots of things I should do - laundry for example, which is sort of happening but it is taking a very long time. There are also things I want to do - catch up with friends. Finally there are things I did do which I greatly enjoyed.

This morning I slept until 9am and felt rested. I find that if I get up earlier I am too tired and really need to sleep until 9 at least a couple days of the week. You say - why don't you go to bed earlier? I say I think 9 pm is a darn good bedtime. So yes sometimes I get around 11-12 hours of sleep (and it makes me a much happier person).

Then I decided I needed some time for me. I went to a whole bunch of yard sales to feed my inner crap shopper. I look them up on Craigs List and make a plan so I am not driving in a hundred different directions.

I ended up buying (are you ready?): a box window fan for $7 - brand new in the box, never used. A queen sized cotton blanket - brand new, original packaging for $5. Ten skeins of yarn for a total of $10 - several are some good quality yarn. Two boxes of cookie cutters that I will use for felting and a roll of fancy ribbon for making fascinators for $2. An entire brown paper bag of assorted lightbulbs for $1.

Then I went to the crafts store and for $8 bought enough to make 6 fascinators in varying shades of purple. Finally, I came home and ate lunch, did some gardening, processed more laundry, and rescued the neighbors dog from our basement (he tried to meet our cat unsuccessfully earlier), looked at more laundry.

Now I am sitting on my completely unmade bed, realizing that is is 245 in the afternoon and I have not gotten together with the friend I wanted to see because I took so much time for myself. But I feel like a better person for having taken time for me.

Before blogging I read a few other blogs and realized two things: Tomorrow is National Cancer Survivors' Day (feel free to join me in not giving a shit about it - for some reason I really don't care this year). And today is exactly seven years from my breast cancer diagnosis. And for some reason I don't really give a crap about it as well.

But I guess I am still here and that is what is really important. Go me!

PS What is a fascinator? Its one of those fancy hats on a headband that the princesses in England wear but are quite fashionable as an accessory for holidays and the Kentucky Derby.

Day Two of Pajama Girl

More pajamas for me. To continue yesterday's sagas, I finally got out of my pajamas in time to take my younger niece and nephew shopping with my husband. The kids were happy with books, ice cream, and a music store where a weird piccolo was purchased. We came home in time to watch a movie with popcorn. Then we proceeded back to my parents to eat left overs. After which I took my older niece shoe shopping for her birthday.

I was tired by the time we came home so it was pajama time again. Today I am still in my pjs at 11 am and promise to take a shower shortly before going to an early dinner.

The reason for my pajama girl discussions is the contrast in my health from a year ago. Last year I was just diagnosed with RA and fibro and had much more energy and capacity for doing things with others.

What a change a year makes. I need more naps. I need more rest. I have less energy. I just get damn tired too often. Crap.

Today I will go to the early dinner and come home for PJ time again. Tomorrow life might begin to return to normal as I will stay home except for a quick trip to the gym.

Not enough rest

The combination of all my ailments requires me to make the most of downtime and get enough rest. When I don't the fatigue just piles up and I end up collapsing for a few hours. I try to schedule myself with enough rest breaks built into my week so that I can stay on top of what my body needs.

I focus my life on working part time, going to the gym three days a week and fitting in all my damn doctor appointments. This gives me two afternoons in the week where I can do nothing.

If I have a few hours of doing nothing - meaning sitting around and watching tv, knitting, reading, surfing the internet, or whatever that does not require me to run up and down stairs, leave the house or anything expelling more than the smallest amount of energy. This includes avoiding house cleaning, cooking (because that requires standing), etc. Also going out of the house requires walking places which can be too much.

However sometimes my schedule is overridden by other needs. Friday was an example. I got up early to go to the gym, then grocery shopping for myself and my parents, lunch with a friend and then home for the afternoon where I could relax.

When I got home from the grocery store, I decided to cook a chicken in the crock pot for the first time. I looked it up online and found that I should cook a 3-4 pound chicken for 3-4 hours on high. I had a 6 lb chicken and it was 11 am. (Why am I blogging about cooking chicken?). I didn't want to wait to start it until I got home around 2 because I wasn't sure I had enough time. I put the chicken in on high and figured it would be okay because I would only be gone for a couple hours. Famous last words.

I met a friend for lunch where I am helping with the New England Coalition for Cancer Survivorship (www.neccs.org) annual awards luncheon on March 29. (Tickets are $50 and its a worthy cause.) Then I remembered I forgot to pick up a prescription for my husband. Then I ran into an estate sale. Then I got a phone call from a family member who needed to go to the Emergency Room at the hospital. Let me add I had no way to contact my husband because he did not have a phone or access to email at work that day. And the damn chicken kept on cooking.

I got home at 630 pm. I was completely exhausted. My back was hurting and I hadn't had pain meds with me. I had a minor temper tantrum about the damn chicken (which was cooked to perfection) because I was so tired. I got in bed in tears because I was so tired. I was too tired. I ate dinner in bed but got up to watch a little TV with my husband and then slept for 12 hours.Yesterday I ran out of steam by about 2pm. Too bad we didn't get home until about 430.

Today I am meeting a friend who I haven't seen in MONTHS, visiting sick family members, and coming home to rest for the afternoon. I really need to spend the afternoon in bed resting. I am concerned that my schedule this week will not allow enough rest. Which may lead to other temper tantrums. But I won't cook another chicken in the crock pot right away.

I do not think people understand that I need more rest than the average person. I actually do not really give a rat's ass what others think about this because I do not have the patience for it these days.

Sleep - ever so elusive

A side effect of all my ailments seems to be fatigue. I get tired. I mean I get really tired. Meaning last night I came home from the gym after work and put on my PJs at 530 and convinced let my husband that he should cook dinner because I was so tired.

I was so tired I went to bed at 7pm (seriously). I read for a while and could not fall asleep. I shut off the light about 830. At 945 I was still awake. I think I feel asleep around 11.  I didn't sleep very well.

The alarm went off around 5 when it always does. We ignore it until 530. My husband got up, took a shower, read the paper, brought me coffee, and alternated trying to wake me up. Finally at 608 I woke up. More than half an hour late. But by rushing around, I should be at work on time.

This is an ongoing problem. I have problems getting comfortable so I can sleep. Usually I fall asleep on my back but sometimes it hurts too much. I often take a pain pill before bed because my rheumatologist says it should help with morning pain. I can take a different pill to help me sleep but I don't like to take it every night and last night, for example, it didn't do squat.

Maybe because I had three Hershey nuggets after dinner - do they have caffeine? I don't know but I'll skip them tonight.

Then I am tired which compounds the fatigue. Its an evil vicious cycle. I need a nap. Damn. I'll postpone that until after work.

I took a step back

Even though I only work part time, sometimes I feel as if I am rushing from one thing to another all week long. Recent weekends have included family and other events where I have not had the downtime.The problem is at the end of the weekend I do not feel rested physically or emotionally.

This weekend we ran away. Yesterday had a predicted high around 47. Based on that and the fact that it was low tide at 1030am, we ran away and walked on the beach for an hour. It was a sunny day. It was low tide. There were people with horses all over the beach. It was amazing. It was what we needed. You will note the snow on the dunes in my blurry picture.The water temperature was 36 so we opted not to go in.

We stopped for an unhealthy meal of fried seafood and came home and relaxed and had a healthy dinner. Yesterday topped out with a high of 55.
Today I slept in. I feel much better physically and emotionally.

Tomorrow will be a long day. I am having an EMG in the morning to test for carpal tunnel. That is a not fun test of needles and jolts. I wont feel relaxed after that. And then I will go to work if I can. Ick. Not fun. I will just ignore that until tomorrow.

A day in bed?

So maybe I did a bit too much this weekend. I had a table at a craft show on Saturday where I had to bring my stuff in from my car, up five steps and down a long hall. Then set up everything, stand for six hours, break everything down, and get it back out to my car with the help from a nice gentleman from the church.

Then on Sunday, I had a private craft show at home (if you didn't get your invitation it means I don't really know you) which entailed me getting up at 430 am and cleaning the kitchen, rearranging furniture with help from my husband, moving boxes around and getting comments from my husband that I should stop doing that before I made my back hurt, making mulled wine and tasting it to improve it and mostly being on my feet all afternoon.

Today I decided it would not be a good day for me to go to work - since its now 915am and I am still in bed. I promise I will get to the gym and the grocery store today. But I have between now and 5pm to get that done.

My feet hurt. My back hurts. I am tired. But I had fun both days. And tomorrow there will be some big rain storm and I will drive on the highway to get to work with a bunch of idiots in zero visibility.

Just because I am as healthy as a horse (on the way to the glue factory), having fun two days in a row, requires me to take it easy for at least a day after. Such is life. I am still here and that's what is really important.

I was bad yesterday

No, not that bad. I didn't break any laws. But I will be recovering from yesterday into tomorrow.

Yesterday morning I went to the gym. Then I came home and got some work done. And ate Halloween candy.

Then I got mostly organized for today's craft fair (at Thornton Ferry Middle school in Merrimack, NH if you want to stop by) where I have  a table.

Then I went for a long walk with a friend. Then we brought take out pizza and salads to my parents.

I came home and had a couple of glasses of wine (and I never drink any more).

I was very bad.

Today I am stiff and sore. I am tired. I am achy. I have to get up and leave here shortly and will be on my feet most of the day. With a smile on my face. My back hurts. My feet hurt. My knee hurts. I would prefer to stay in bed all day. But I have a craft fair. And I have to get up take a shower and run around getting ready.

If I was smart yesterday I would not have gone to the gym AND gone for a walk with a friend. I would  have stayed home last night because I was tired. I just wanted to be a normal person. I should know better. Crap.

When I get home, I will lie down and maybe take a nap before dinner that my husband will cook. Tomorrow I will sleep late and take it easy all day to continue recovering. I just need to get through today first with no Halloween candy, no wine, and no whining.