wishing for a dreamless sleep

I'm about to hit the hay. I've been plagued by wild dreams of late and I'm hoping tonight's sleep will be deep and dreamless.

No discovering that I've not graduated from high school.

No returning to live with my parents while I complete school.

No wandering the halls unsure where I'm supposed to go and unable to find the office or a time-table.

No discovering I'm way, way hopelessly behind.

No finding myself responsible for other people's babies.

No getting my stomach pumped.

No crawling into bed, only to discover that I've let myself into a stranger's home and I'm under the covers of their guest bed in their living room.

No mowing the same stranger's giant lawn under a blinding hot sun.

No dead dogs on the lawn.

No horrible hair cuts.

Just sweet, dreamless sleep. 

Wish me luck.

a wild and crazy goal

I have been overwhelmed and touched by all the donations I've collected for the Run for the Cure.

Our team, No Pink for Profit, has more than thirty members.

I'm - ahem - tickled pink.

I've raised $1,558.00, way more than I'd anticipated. And maybe all this generosity and enthusiasm have made me delirious but I've begun to wonder, "what if I could make it an even $2000.00?"

What do you think? Is it possible? Want to help?

dream analysis

I had a very vivid dream last night. I had a arrived at a big hall full of people and remembered that I was there to give a speech. Then, as I approached the podium, I realized that I was completely unprepared - I had forgotten to prepare anything to say.

My stomach dropped down to my toes.

Now I have never, as far as I can recollect, forgotten to prepare for a speech or presentation. And while I am speaking at a fundraiser in Montreal in June and I am a bit nervous, I'm not really concerned that I won't be ready (not yet, anyway).

Life has been full of challenges lately and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Some of these have been expected and others have come at me from out of the blue (or at least that's how it's felt). And I have definitely been feeling ill-equipped to respond.

When I was a little girl, I had to play dodgeball at every recess in Grades 4 and 5. Our teachers thought it kept us out of trouble but I just remember every recess as a misery. My stress levels would be very high as the balls came at me. I'd dodge a few, catch the odd one (mostly out of sheer luck) and get walloped hard, at least once in every fifteen minute game. Getting hit didn't hurt that badly (I was more stunned and winded than actually injured) but I always welcomed the moment that the bell would ring and I could return to the safety of the classroom.

Life (I'm sure you see where I'm going with this) has been a little like playing dodgeball lately. My skills have improved but I still don't enjoy playing that particular game. I'd rather take a walk along the canal (or a nap would be good).

For the most part, things are fine around here. But I wouldn't complain if life were just a tiny bit less interesting.

up to something

I have a project.

It's taking some planning and a fair bit of work. It won't change the world but it will make my world  a more fun, brighter place. At least I think so. It may even inspire a few people.

I'm not working alone but I'm not sure how many of us there will be. It's something I've been wanting to do for years but an awesome friend proposed a date and an action plan. We're being a little bit subversive, a little bit creative, a little bit brave and deliberately frivolous.

I think I need more fun in my life. I need to do some things just because they make me happy, not aiming for perfection, not trying to be "productive" and not with any particular purpose in mind. We're just going to put our heads together, set our hands to work, make a leap into action and then sit back and see what happens.

I'm having fun.

my kids are alright

I had a dream a few nights ago.

My kids were in a giant flash mob, dancing their hearts out, surrounded by dozens of other kids and adults. They were exuberant and focused, their movements fluid and in synch with those around them. My heart swelled with pride and joy.

I learned that the flash mob had been created to drum up excitement over an upcoming performance. In a couple of hours, my kids would go on stage and perform. I could tell they were ready.

Then I was handed a note. My own performance was scheduled for right after theirs. I was wholly unprepared. I hadn't even looked at my script. I was rushing off to find it when my alarm went off.

Sacha was in a play very recently. And they did organize a flash mob a week before the performance, as a form of advertisement. And Sacha performed beautifully. My heart did swell with pride.

In part, my subconscious might have been remembering the play but I choose to believe that I was also sending myself a message.

Life with metastatic breast cancer is filled with uncertainty. But no matter what happens, my kids will be fine. They are smart, talented, resourceful and resillient. They have friends and family who love them. My kids will be alright.

a wild and crazy goal

I have been overwhelmed and touched by all the donations I've collected for the Run for the Cure.

Our team, No Pink for Profit, has more than thirty members.

I'm - ahem - tickled pink.

I've raised $1,558.00, way more than I'd anticipated. And maybe all this generosity and enthusiasm have made me delirious but I've begun to wonder, "what if I could make it an even $2000.00?"

What do you think? Is it possible? Want to help?

up to something

I have a project.

It's taking some planning and a fair bit of work. It won't change the world but it will make my world  a more fun, brighter place. At least I think so. It may even inspire a few people.

I'm not working alone but I'm not sure how many of us there will be. It's something I've been wanting to do for years but an awesome friend proposed a date and an action plan. We're being a little bit subversive, a little bit creative, a little bit brave and deliberately frivolous.

I think I need more fun in my life. I need to do some things just because they make me happy, not aiming for perfection, not trying to be "productive" and not with any particular purpose in mind. We're just going to put our heads together, set our hands to work, make a leap into action and then sit back and see what happens.

I'm having fun.

Dear Medical Researchers

Dear Medical Researchers:

This is what I want from you, besides a cure for cancer.

1. A medication with these side effects: weight loss, the ability to get 8 hours of consecutive sleep, and anti-depressant.
2. A cure for the common cold. This should be easy after a cure for cancer.
3. Medical tests that do not come with a 'pinch', a burning sensation, or being stuck with needles or any other 'ouchie'.
4. A dictionary that instantly translates 'doctor-speak', either the mumbo jumbo of big words or the vagueness of a non-answer, into normal human English.
5. Thrift - I want inexpensive treatments that will not line the pockets of pharmaceutical companies or others so that the term 'medical bankruptcy' will become obsolete.

That's not a very long list so it shouldn't be that difficult. 

Thank you.

A patient.

my kids are alright

I had a dream a few nights ago.

My kids were in a giant flash mob, dancing their hearts out, surrounded by dozens of other kids and adults. They were exuberant and focused, their movements fluid and in synch with those around them. My heart swelled with pride and joy.

I learned that the flash mob had been created to drum up excitement over an upcoming performance. In a couple of hours, my kids would go on stage and perform. I could tell they were ready.

Then I was handed a note. My own performance was scheduled for right after theirs. I was wholly unprepared. I hadn't even looked at my script. I was rushing off to find it when my alarm went off.

Sacha was in a play very recently. And they did organize a flash mob a week before the performance, as a form of advertisement. And Sacha performed beautifully. My heart did swell with pride.

In part, my subconscious might have been remembering the play but I choose to believe that I was also sending myself a message.

Life with metastatic breast cancer is filled with uncertainty. But no matter what happens, my kids will be fine. They are smart, talented, resourceful and resillient. They have friends and family who love them. My kids will be alright.

dream analysis

I had a very vivid dream last night. I had a arrived at a big hall full of people and remembered that I was there to give a speech. Then, as I approached the podium, I realized that I was completely unprepared - I had forgotten to prepare anything to say.

My stomach dropped down to my toes.

Now I have never, as far as I can recollect, forgotten to prepare for a speech or presentation. And while I am speaking at a fundraiser in Montreal in June and I am a bit nervous, I'm not really concerned that I won't be ready (not yet, anyway).

Life has been full of challenges lately and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Some of these have been expected and others have come at me from out of the blue (or at least that's how it's felt). And I have definitely been feeling ill-equipped to respond.

When I was a little girl, I had to play dodgeball at every recess in Grades 4 and 5. Our teachers thought it kept us out of trouble but I just remember every recess as a misery. My stress levels would be very high as the balls came at me. I'd dodge a few, catch the odd one (mostly out of sheer luck) and get walloped hard, at least once in every fifteen minute game. Getting hit didn't hurt that badly (I was more stunned and winded than actually injured) but I always welcomed the moment that the bell would ring and I could return to the safety of the classroom.

Life (I'm sure you see where I'm going with this) has been a little like playing dodgeball lately. My skills have improved but I still don't enjoy playing that particular game. I'd rather take a walk along the canal (or a nap would be good).

For the most part, things are fine around here. But I wouldn't complain if life were just a tiny bit less interesting.

wishing for a dreamless sleep

I'm about to hit the hay. I've been plagued by wild dreams of late and I'm hoping tonight's sleep will be deep and dreamless.

No discovering that I've not graduated from high school.

No returning to live with my parents while I complete school.

No wandering the halls unsure where I'm supposed to go and unable to find the office or a time-table.

No discovering I'm way, way hopelessly behind.

No finding myself responsible for other people's babies.

No getting my stomach pumped.

No crawling into bed, only to discover that I've let myself into a stranger's home and I'm under the covers of their guest bed in their living room.

No mowing the same stranger's giant lawn under a blinding hot sun.

No dead dogs on the lawn.

No horrible hair cuts.

Just sweet, dreamless sleep. 

Wish me luck.