I find it annoying!

Why, oh why, do we have to have stupid pink ribbons everywhere???? Seriously? I knit and crochet and have tables at craft shows locally in November and December each year. Yesterday I was at a show and there were pink ribbons up in the bathroom. Do we need them? Why?

Every craft show also seems to have someone who decides to plaster pink ribbons on at least half their crafts. I don't think I would mind it if they were equal opportunity ribbons for all the different types of cancer and not just the pink ones.

I don't mind the informative posters you see here and there, its just the stupid pink ribbons that annoy me.

Its not October any more. And I really find them annoying in October. Can't we just get rid of them all? The world doesn't need more pink (ribbons)!

Okay, its Monday morning and I am in a 'mood'. I don't have to work but have to take my father to the doctor today. I want to go to the gym first and a friend may stop by later and the house is a MESS!

And then tomorrow I take my father back to the hospital for another adventure. Meanwhile my husband is threatening to clean while I am gone. The problem with him cleaning is he throws everything he doesn't know what to do with in a bag or box and sticks it in the basement and then I hunt for it for six months as he has forgotten what he put where.

Then the Thanksgiving cooking starts.... which is the fun part.

Maybe I'll be cranky today. Don't tell anyone.

Disillusioned Doctors

There has been a fair amount in the news recently on disillusioned doctors and the 'tell all' books on 'life behind the scenes'. Disillusionment is being deprived on illusions. So what were they expecting?

I guess I mean to doctors go to medical school expecting to save the world? I know the medical world has changed significantly in the recent decades and the focus has changed from caring about patients to caring about insurance costs and paying the hospital administrators. But as their world adapts, the medical professionals need to adapt.

Technology has advanced and made healing patients easier. Patient care now includes concerns with hospital and insurance costs. Its a fact. It doesn't mean its right but it must be worked with and adapted to. I am the first person to decry the weight an insurance company has on choosing my medical care. And I would value change to refocus care on to what the physician wants for the patient as opposed to what insurance will cover.

But I don't want a medical professional who is disillusioned and hating the system, to bad mouth it to me and be cranky. I still want the care where the carers do care. I want the bedside manner. I want the ability to talk and ask questions. I know the staff are rushed but it can be done with a smile instead of a frown.

To correct the system will mean more change so please do not resist the change and be grumpy and disillusioned to me the patient who is in need of care.

Sleeping, or not

I have problems sleeping these days. On a good night, I get to sleep for a solid 12 hours. I'm not kidding. I hope to do this once a week at least. Not this weekend. If I can, I save my big sleeping nights for the weekend because I don't have to get up in the morning.

Friday night I slept from about 10-330. Then I dozed off and on until 6 when I gave up and got up. Last night, I slept from about 930 to 4. Then I couldn't sleep so I played games on my phone (because my phone was nagging me to get caught up on words with friends) for about half and hour and then dozed for a while and finally got back to sleep for a bit. I am feeling a bit sleep deprived as a result.

I have spoken with my many doctors about this and my PCP said she wants me to have a sleep test to figure out if I have apnea or other issues.

Sleep tests can determine other problems as well. According to Dr. Wikipedia:

"Polysomnography is used to diagnose, or rule out, many types of sleep disorders including narcolepsy, idiopathic hypersomnia, periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD), REM behavior disorder, parasomnias, and sleep apnea. Although it is not directly useful in diagnosing circadian rhythm sleep disorders, it may be used to rule out other sleep disorders."

My PCP said that now they do sleep tests where they send you the machine at home and you can sleep in your own bed. However the hospital set me up for an overnight sleep test there. They claim the room is like a motel room. I hate sleeping in motel or hotel rooms by myself. I want my husband there to protect me from intruders and scary monsters or zombies. I also want the cat. I'm not sure I can bring either.

I got the schedule in the mail late Friday afternoon when it was too late to call. Then I got the information brochure in yesterday's mail telling me all kinds of useful information. Dress in comfortable clothes - not pajamas. It doesn't sound like you can wear pjs. They do not have shower facilities either.

I like this part where it says if you drink every night you should do so before coming - but you can't bring any alcohol and you must have a driver bring you if you are drinking. LOL. I find it funny that they specify this. Obviously some have driven drunk to the sleep test or brought in a bottle or two.

But I don't think I can get sleep there which is the whole point of the test. And what if I want to gt up and pee in the middle of the night?

First thing Monday I will call my insurance company and make sure they cover the test at home instead of there. Then I will call the hospital and see about having a home test if I can and ask all my other questions - can I bring my tablet to read a book on before sleeping? What about PJs? What about bathroom visits? Lots of things to know.

All I know is I need to sleep more. And this might help.

Lack of sleep causes both crabbiness and crankiness.

Heat, humidity, impending storms

I can just say I get cranky when I get hot and tired, especially due to the summer heat. Its been hot and nasty here. 90 or so with humidity for a couple of days - which in Boston counts as bad weather. I know there are parts of the country where this is considered nice summer weather but that is why I don't live there.

To top it off, a hurricane is coming to ruin our July 4th. This means that in addition to the heat and humidity, the air pressure is on its way down. That causes all sorts of things - women go into labor early, tempers start flying, and apparently I get really cranky.

Last night I was really cranky and yelled at my husband, something I never rarely do. I then went upstairs and pouted for a while, then apologized twice to my husband, and then I slept for about 12 hours.

Today I feel better. Then I made the mistake of going outside to look at teh garden and found out it is hot, sweaty and disgusting out already. I think I should hide inside until tomorrow when the high is due to be 77 and rain. I can live with that.

Elusive sleep

Once again a night of oh so elusive sleep. I can't even blame the cat. Saturday night he insisted on trying to wake me up all night long, alternating with periods of sitting on me that made my back hurt. I was a tad grumpy as a result and ended up cancelling on long scheduled plans with friends to go to a museum which I would have enjoyed.

One of the lovely benefits side effects of fibromyalgia is disturbed sleep. I know I have blogged about this before but I blog in the morning and lack of sleep is often on my mind. Maybe I don't feel as well because I want to go pick up some test results from last week  that I want to read before waiting for doctors to get back to me. A much more efficient system for me.

I also might be cranky about work. I really do like my job. I was hired as a part timer May 2009 and I assumed no benefits. About  a year later I noticed on my pay stub I was acruing paid time off. So I asked and was told yes it was true and I could use it. Then the big boss noticed this last week and I think that is going away. The problem is if you mistakenly gave an employee a benefit, you can't suddenly take it away with out some resentment. So this week I am mad at my job.

I'll get over it I'm sure but in the meantime I'm cranky. And lack of sleep doesn't help.

But its a dark and cold Monday morning. When I say cold, its in the upper teens right now, with a high due of upper 20s. Average is 43. I would prefer 43. Instead of 18 dark cold degrees right now.

See I'm cranky from lack of sleep. And maybe test results. I hope I sleep tonight. I don't want to be cranky all week!

The worst day of the year

Today is the worst day of the year for Americans. We are all going to be wandering around sleep deprived. Watch out and stock up on coffee.

I heard yesterday on the radio (which is much more reliable than the internet) that it takes about a week for a human's internal clock to adjust to this hour ahead business. Monday is the worst day for accidents nationally as there are many sleep deprived drivers out there. Productivity will be down as well.

I have always hated the time change weeks. I just never get enough sleep for a week. It makes me whiny or even cranky. Crabby too!

To top it off, I am looking a weather map which shows more than a foot of snow for the middle of this week. If we had to spring forward, where the hell is spring damn it!?

Oh dear, crankiness may be showing already. Oopsie.

Sleeping, or not

I have problems sleeping these days. On a good night, I get to sleep for a solid 12 hours. I'm not kidding. I hope to do this once a week at least. Not this weekend. If I can, I save my big sleeping nights for the weekend because I don't have to get up in the morning.

Friday night I slept from about 10-330. Then I dozed off and on until 6 when I gave up and got up. Last night, I slept from about 930 to 4. Then I couldn't sleep so I played games on my phone (because my phone was nagging me to get caught up on words with friends) for about half and hour and then dozed for a while and finally got back to sleep for a bit. I am feeling a bit sleep deprived as a result.

I have spoken with my many doctors about this and my PCP said she wants me to have a sleep test to figure out if I have apnea or other issues.

Sleep tests can determine other problems as well. According to Dr. Wikipedia:

"Polysomnography is used to diagnose, or rule out, many types of sleep disorders including narcolepsy, idiopathic hypersomnia, periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD), REM behavior disorder, parasomnias, and sleep apnea. Although it is not directly useful in diagnosing circadian rhythm sleep disorders, it may be used to rule out other sleep disorders."

My PCP said that now they do sleep tests where they send you the machine at home and you can sleep in your own bed. However the hospital set me up for an overnight sleep test there. They claim the room is like a motel room. I hate sleeping in motel or hotel rooms by myself. I want my husband there to protect me from intruders and scary monsters or zombies. I also want the cat. I'm not sure I can bring either.

I got the schedule in the mail late Friday afternoon when it was too late to call. Then I got the information brochure in yesterday's mail telling me all kinds of useful information. Dress in comfortable clothes - not pajamas. It doesn't sound like you can wear pjs. They do not have shower facilities either.

I like this part where it says if you drink every night you should do so before coming - but you can't bring any alcohol and you must have a driver bring you if you are drinking. LOL. I find it funny that they specify this. Obviously some have driven drunk to the sleep test or brought in a bottle or two.

But I don't think I can get sleep there which is the whole point of the test. And what if I want to gt up and pee in the middle of the night?

First thing Monday I will call my insurance company and make sure they cover the test at home instead of there. Then I will call the hospital and see about having a home test if I can and ask all my other questions - can I bring my tablet to read a book on before sleeping? What about PJs? What about bathroom visits? Lots of things to know.

All I know is I need to sleep more. And this might help.

Lack of sleep causes both crabbiness and crankiness.

I find it annoying!

Why, oh why, do we have to have stupid pink ribbons everywhere???? Seriously? I knit and crochet and have tables at craft shows locally in November and December each year. Yesterday I was at a show and there were pink ribbons up in the bathroom. Do we need them? Why?

Every craft show also seems to have someone who decides to plaster pink ribbons on at least half their crafts. I don't think I would mind it if they were equal opportunity ribbons for all the different types of cancer and not just the pink ones.

I don't mind the informative posters you see here and there, its just the stupid pink ribbons that annoy me.

Its not October any more. And I really find them annoying in October. Can't we just get rid of them all? The world doesn't need more pink (ribbons)!

Okay, its Monday morning and I am in a 'mood'. I don't have to work but have to take my father to the doctor today. I want to go to the gym first and a friend may stop by later and the house is a MESS!

And then tomorrow I take my father back to the hospital for another adventure. Meanwhile my husband is threatening to clean while I am gone. The problem with him cleaning is he throws everything he doesn't know what to do with in a bag or box and sticks it in the basement and then I hunt for it for six months as he has forgotten what he put where.

Then the Thanksgiving cooking starts.... which is the fun part.

Maybe I'll be cranky today. Don't tell anyone.

Disillusioned Doctors

There has been a fair amount in the news recently on disillusioned doctors and the 'tell all' books on 'life behind the scenes'. Disillusionment is being deprived on illusions. So what were they expecting?

I guess I mean to doctors go to medical school expecting to save the world? I know the medical world has changed significantly in the recent decades and the focus has changed from caring about patients to caring about insurance costs and paying the hospital administrators. But as their world adapts, the medical professionals need to adapt.

Technology has advanced and made healing patients easier. Patient care now includes concerns with hospital and insurance costs. Its a fact. It doesn't mean its right but it must be worked with and adapted to. I am the first person to decry the weight an insurance company has on choosing my medical care. And I would value change to refocus care on to what the physician wants for the patient as opposed to what insurance will cover.

But I don't want a medical professional who is disillusioned and hating the system, to bad mouth it to me and be cranky. I still want the care where the carers do care. I want the bedside manner. I want the ability to talk and ask questions. I know the staff are rushed but it can be done with a smile instead of a frown.

To correct the system will mean more change so please do not resist the change and be grumpy and disillusioned to me the patient who is in need of care.

Elusive sleep

Once again a night of oh so elusive sleep. I can't even blame the cat. Saturday night he insisted on trying to wake me up all night long, alternating with periods of sitting on me that made my back hurt. I was a tad grumpy as a result and ended up cancelling on long scheduled plans with friends to go to a museum which I would have enjoyed.

One of the lovely benefits side effects of fibromyalgia is disturbed sleep. I know I have blogged about this before but I blog in the morning and lack of sleep is often on my mind. Maybe I don't feel as well because I want to go pick up some test results from last week  that I want to read before waiting for doctors to get back to me. A much more efficient system for me.

I also might be cranky about work. I really do like my job. I was hired as a part timer May 2009 and I assumed no benefits. About  a year later I noticed on my pay stub I was acruing paid time off. So I asked and was told yes it was true and I could use it. Then the big boss noticed this last week and I think that is going away. The problem is if you mistakenly gave an employee a benefit, you can't suddenly take it away with out some resentment. So this week I am mad at my job.

I'll get over it I'm sure but in the meantime I'm cranky. And lack of sleep doesn't help.

But its a dark and cold Monday morning. When I say cold, its in the upper teens right now, with a high due of upper 20s. Average is 43. I would prefer 43. Instead of 18 dark cold degrees right now.

See I'm cranky from lack of sleep. And maybe test results. I hope I sleep tonight. I don't want to be cranky all week!

The worst day of the year

Today is the worst day of the year for Americans. We are all going to be wandering around sleep deprived. Watch out and stock up on coffee.

I heard yesterday on the radio (which is much more reliable than the internet) that it takes about a week for a human's internal clock to adjust to this hour ahead business. Monday is the worst day for accidents nationally as there are many sleep deprived drivers out there. Productivity will be down as well.

I have always hated the time change weeks. I just never get enough sleep for a week. It makes me whiny or even cranky. Crabby too!

To top it off, I am looking a weather map which shows more than a foot of snow for the middle of this week. If we had to spring forward, where the hell is spring damn it!?

Oh dear, crankiness may be showing already. Oopsie.

I am in a cranky mood

I don't know if cranky is the right word. I feel guilt ridden and stressed for not getting into work when I said I would. I hate not keeping my promises on when I would get things done. There was a blizzard which is a good reason but I have a huge pile of work to do and am behind. It didn't help that I was sick before Christmas as well and missed time. I need to get into work and get a lot done before I will feel better. Its frustrating.

I feel stuck inside because of the little tiny blizzard. I went to go shovel out the front walk just to get outside yesterday. I told my husband I was going to brush the snow off the cars with a broom but I also grabbed a shovel to clear the front walk. Ten minutes and my back hurt and I was back inside for the day with an ice pack.

A friend was talking about snow shoeing on Sunday. I can't really snow shoe. I tried last winter. I walked up and down our street (which has five houses total) to take pictures of the snow and that was enough. I used to be able to snow shoe.

She thought I should be able to snow shoe because I can walk. But the weight of the snow shoes on my back are very different. (She means well but is also someone who keeps asking when my back will be better.) See I am cranky. I'm complaining about my friends. I don't usually do that but I am aggravated, cranky, guilt ridden, stress filled, etc.

I feel fat because I have eaten all sorts of bad things through the holidays. Everything from big family meals with dessert to candies and chocolates and meals out. The scale is saying bad things to me. I was trying to be very good about eating before the holidays but I blew all that. I am back on Lyrica which is helping my fibromyalgia but has that lovely weight gain side effect.

Further proof of my crankiness is that I read this blog post on one week of junk food could damage your memory and left a cranky comment. (I went back and deleted the comment because I decided it was rude.) At this point in my current mood, I couldn't care less about eating healthy.

But today I am doing things differently. I am going to the gym this morning. My husband and I are going Christmas shopping this afternoon - looking for decorations on sale. We are having a healthy stir fry dinner tonight with rice noodles and chicken. Without dessert. Tomorrow we will go see The Hobbit part 2 in 3D. Quality time  with my husband always makes me feel better.

Heat, humidity, impending storms

I can just say I get cranky when I get hot and tired, especially due to the summer heat. Its been hot and nasty here. 90 or so with humidity for a couple of days - which in Boston counts as bad weather. I know there are parts of the country where this is considered nice summer weather but that is why I don't live there.

To top it off, a hurricane is coming to ruin our July 4th. This means that in addition to the heat and humidity, the air pressure is on its way down. That causes all sorts of things - women go into labor early, tempers start flying, and apparently I get really cranky.

Last night I was really cranky and yelled at my husband, something I never rarely do. I then went upstairs and pouted for a while, then apologized twice to my husband, and then I slept for about 12 hours.

Today I feel better. Then I made the mistake of going outside to look at teh garden and found out it is hot, sweaty and disgusting out already. I think I should hide inside until tomorrow when the high is due to be 77 and rain. I can live with that.