My hyper-focused life.

My life,and my blog, seem to be hyper-focused on breast cancer. Yes I acknowledge in my (Breast Cancer) blog that I have other ailments but I have never changed the focus of my blog even though I have questioned it. I still blog about breast cancer because it is part of my life. And I write about changing the focus of my blog but haven't.

However, I read this morning there is another disease which is more prevalent than the one-in-eight statistic for breast cancer that is tossed around. It is Alzheimer's. And the writer makes a valid point that breast cancer is full of ribbons and magazine articles on it, Alzheimer's is not.

When I first saw the article title I thought she would be writing about heart disease and felt a little pang of reminder that while two cancer diagnoses don't necessarily keep me as a potential member of the centenarian club, I do have obligations to keep other parts of my body in good shape. It never crossed my mind that Alzheimer's was that prevalent. And its just a nasty way to go.

With that said, my life should not be focused on breast cancer or living with whining about my ever present ailments. I also need to expand my tiny horizons and think about staying healthy to prevent additional, nastier ailments.

A cancer diagnosis kind of makes you take a second thought on long term planning - why am I saving for retirement at this point???? Taking care of myself and thinking about other ailments is probably just as important.

Public utlities

Okay this is a bit off my usual topics but I have had my fill of dealing with public entities this weekend. Thursday night a little thunderstorm blew on through the area. It caused Boston's July 4th celebration to be cut short, even though it had been moved up a day. Anyone who was awake through it, said it was significant. Me, I slept through it in a room with a fan and an air conditioner running.

Then Friday morning, Arthur came to visit and we got 2.5 inches of rain from about 9am through the next morning. That was on top of what had already come down over night. (9am is when I found my little rain gauge and other garden decor in the basement and decided to run outside and put them out in the garden between the rain drops. I did get a little damp but I did dry off.

Then we started seeing all the damage. Never call NStar or Verizon on the 4th of July. NStar got me a cranky lady (who had probably received a few million calls already) who said the branch swinging on the lines across the street was not their problem. NStar's line is the top cable only. They don't want to hear about anything else. They didn't care that it isn't really a branch but the top 20' of a tree which are now 30' down the road hanging 15' up.

 

I then tried calling Verizon and the only person I got was a guy in Florida in billing. He didn't know who I should talk to but did think that a technician might be able to help me. 30 minutes later I was still on hold.

I then picked up my cell and called the town's DPW and spoke to the nice guy who said they had been out all day already cleaning up. He said they might have a little more pull with NStar.

Yesterday, my husband noticed that the support wire for the power cables that come to our house from pole is disconnected. I considering waiting until Monday so that I could speak to a nicer human being at NStar. I was informed by my better half that I should call today to get in their cue for repairs.

I called NStar again and got another crabby lady who informed me that she would send it to dispatch and they would decide if it was their responsibility or not.  I didn't bother to tell her that I had already checked their website and it clearly looks to me that it is their problem.

All we can do now is wait and see if it is miraculously repaired by NStar. We do not need to be home so it should just happen. I will wait until tomorrow and try calling the town and Verizon again. I hate dealing with public utlities

And how was your weekend?

Sometimes I don't blog about breast cancer but just about life. This is one of those times. My husband and I are convinced that the planets are in retrograde or something or there is a cloud of doom over our heads.

Saturday we went to the beach with my sister, brother in law, brother, niece and nephew. We had a nice big cooler with wheels that my nephew and brother were dragging down the beach. It was packed to the brim with water bottles, cans of seltzer and ginger ale, cut up fruit, ice, and Italian ices in individual cups. At one point my brother picked up the cooler and carried it on his shoulder over the soft sand. He went to put it down and..... dropped it right in front of the life guard chair.

We scrambled and put everything back in. So now there was ample sand included all over everything. We enjoyed the beach, consumed much of the cooler contents, headed out to dinner and then home. The cooler went into the kitchen where I started cleaning the sand off everything. Then I found that one of the Italian ices, a blue one to be precise, had melted and leaked 3/4s of its contents all over the inside of the cooler. So now everything was covered with blue, sticky, sugary, sandy water.

I took everything out of the cooler and I went to dump the cooler in the driveway and spray it out with the hose next to the front door. My husband, unbeknownst to me, had started the sprinkler on the front lawn and I couldn't get outside without getting soaked. I turned around and headed to the bathtub.

And dropped the open cooler in the front hall with its blue, sticky, sugary, sandy water all soaked into the 100% wool carpet runner. It was sloshing around.

I grabbed towels and started cleaning. My husband came down and helped. The carpet and the sandy, sticky, sugary, blue inside cooler went out on the porch for the night. I put it on the top of the car in the sun and sprayed it with water yesterday so I hope it doesn't become an ant magnet with the blue sugary, sticky water. It is continues to dry in the basement. That was plenty to clean up and still more to do.

Then this morning...

I was sitting on the bed next to my husband drinking coffee, reading email, and dropped my coffee cup in my lap on the bed. My laptop was splashed. My lap was soaked. The sheets and bedding are off the bed and going in the wash. I hopped in the shower and removed the coffee from the lower half of my body. But I have a couple more loads of laundry to do today. And only enough detergent for one more load.

How was your weekend? I hope it did not leave a debris field like this resulting in lots of laundry.

Life expectancy thoughts

You get diagnosed with cancer and saving for retirement gets lower down the list of important things to do. Then you get diagnosed with cancer again and it really becomes less important and sometimes even slips into the category of  'why bother'.

But then you bounce back and start thinking long term again, slower than before, but still making plans seems worth while. Or should I just save my money and have a really huge party for my memorial service propped up in the corner in a casket?

Life expectancy charts are for other people because with a couple of cancer diagnoses and friends dying from cancer around you, your life expectancy is different.

That is the little chain of thoughts in my head.

Then I find out that rheumatoid arthritis no longer affects life expectancy as much as it once did but can put a damper on it.

Then I found an online life expectancy calculator. It does not ask how many times I have had cancer only if first degree relatives have had certain types of cancer. It says I have a 75% chance of making it to 83, a 50% chance of making it to 94 and a 25% chance of making it to 102. But since it does not take into account all my health issues, you may call me skeptical. 

So where does that leave me? I don't really know. I'm still here and I guess I am happy with that.

Its a life, not a fight

Cancer is not a battle, or a war, or anything more than someone's life. Finally there is some research backing me up. New research says that calling cancer a fight can be negative for the patient. Yes, negative.

War connotations lead to feelings of failure. The blame gets put on the patient. Who gets the guilt and sense of failure if they face further progressions in their cancer - which is completely beyond their control. Guilt and failure do not lead to happy people who are willing to take care of themselves and adopt healthy lifestyles. They lead to depression and more.

President Nixon declared a war on cancer. The American Cancer Society calls us survivors from the point of diagnosis. But they are wrong. It is not a battle or a war. It is a life.

So take that battle, war or whatever it is out of the equation. Stop telling us we are survivors.

All I survived is a boatload of doctor appointments. Nothing more, nothing less. I try to stay positive but do not try to shift any blame onto me.

And how was your weekend?

Sometimes I don't blog about breast cancer but just about life. This is one of those times. My husband and I are convinced that the planets are in retrograde or something or there is a cloud of doom over our heads.

Saturday we went to the beach with my sister, brother in law, brother, niece and nephew. We had a nice big cooler with wheels that my nephew and brother were dragging down the beach. It was packed to the brim with water bottles, cans of seltzer and ginger ale, cut up fruit, ice, and Italian ices in individual cups. At one point my brother picked up the cooler and carried it on his shoulder over the soft sand. He went to put it down and..... dropped it right in front of the life guard chair.

We scrambled and put everything back in. So now there was ample sand included all over everything. We enjoyed the beach, consumed much of the cooler contents, headed out to dinner and then home. The cooler went into the kitchen where I started cleaning the sand off everything. Then I found that one of the Italian ices, a blue one to be precise, had melted and leaked 3/4s of its contents all over the inside of the cooler. So now everything was covered with blue, sticky, sugary, sandy water.

I took everything out of the cooler and I went to dump the cooler in the driveway and spray it out with the hose next to the front door. My husband, unbeknownst to me, had started the sprinkler on the front lawn and I couldn't get outside without getting soaked. I turned around and headed to the bathtub.

And dropped the open cooler in the front hall with its blue, sticky, sugary, sandy water all soaked into the 100% wool carpet runner. It was sloshing around.

I grabbed towels and started cleaning. My husband came down and helped. The carpet and the sandy, sticky, sugary, blue inside cooler went out on the porch for the night. I put it on the top of the car in the sun and sprayed it with water yesterday so I hope it doesn't become an ant magnet with the blue sugary, sticky water. It is continues to dry in the basement. That was plenty to clean up and still more to do.

Then this morning...

I was sitting on the bed next to my husband drinking coffee, reading email, and dropped my coffee cup in my lap on the bed. My laptop was splashed. My lap was soaked. The sheets and bedding are off the bed and going in the wash. I hopped in the shower and removed the coffee from the lower half of my body. But I have a couple more loads of laundry to do today. And only enough detergent for one more load.

How was your weekend? I hope it did not leave a debris field like this resulting in lots of laundry.

Life expectancy thoughts

You get diagnosed with cancer and saving for retirement gets lower down the list of important things to do. Then you get diagnosed with cancer again and it really becomes less important and sometimes even slips into the category of  'why bother'.

But then you bounce back and start thinking long term again, slower than before, but still making plans seems worth while. Or should I just save my money and have a really huge party for my memorial service propped up in the corner in a casket?

Life expectancy charts are for other people because with a couple of cancer diagnoses and friends dying from cancer around you, your life expectancy is different.

That is the little chain of thoughts in my head.

Then I find out that rheumatoid arthritis no longer affects life expectancy as much as it once did but can put a damper on it.

Then I found an online life expectancy calculator. It does not ask how many times I have had cancer only if first degree relatives have had certain types of cancer. It says I have a 75% chance of making it to 83, a 50% chance of making it to 94 and a 25% chance of making it to 102. But since it does not take into account all my health issues, you may call me skeptical. 

So where does that leave me? I don't really know. I'm still here and I guess I am happy with that.

I made it

The past six weeks of my life have been indescribably stressful and fatiguing for numerous reasons. All I needed to do was get to November 21 (which is today you will note) and I can relax and life will go back to its normal pace. The reasons for my stress were:

1. Both my parents had health issues - the exact issues are their stories to tell, not mine but I will say they both have a long road ahead of them but they should be fine in the end.
2. I had three craft fairs recently which took entire days out of my weekends and made me want to crawl back into bed for a week after each.
3. I have had a few minor medical issues to deal with but they are dealt wit. Its just the time that it took to deal with them.
4. I volunteered for a six week research project which helps with breast cancer research as part of the DOD research programs. It was enlightening, optimistic, and enjoyable. But it was a lot of work and ended up with the past three days spent in a hotel outside Dulles airport in meetings discussing things. 
5. I can't remember the rest but there was a lot going on my life.

Sadly I must say that an old friend of mine was strangled by her husband this week and her two babies were killed as well by her husband who then took his own life. It was a very sad occurrence that requires a certain amount of mourning to cope.

Now that I have a little more time in my life, I can take some needed time to reflect and reassess after such violence hits so close to home.

I made it through a very hectic time and can take some time to mourn before the holiday next week.

A mistaken conversation or two with my husband

Last night:

Him: So what time are your friends coming over?
Me: Noon
Him: So what time do you want to get up?
Me: Ten

This morning about 4 am:

Him: Go back to sleep
Me: I'm wide awake and the cat is sleeping on me. (The cat is a delicate 15 lbs and makes my back hurt more than usual.)
Him: Go back to sleep.

This morning at 920am:

Me: What time is it?
Him: About 920.
Me: Why did you let me sleep so late?
Him: You told me to wake you at ten.
Me: Crap! I still have tons to do!

Four friends are coming over for brunch at noon. I am providing beverages and dessert. I need my sleep. I haven't slept this late in a long time. I got way overtired last week. I know you really can't make up lost sleep but I try on weekends to get enough rest.

As a result, I do not have time to read the Sunday paper lazily. It will have to wait until after they leave. But it will be nice to be normal and see some friends again.

My hyper-focused life.

My life,and my blog, seem to be hyper-focused on breast cancer. Yes I acknowledge in my (Breast Cancer) blog that I have other ailments but I have never changed the focus of my blog even though I have questioned it. I still blog about breast cancer because it is part of my life. And I write about changing the focus of my blog but haven't.

However, I read this morning there is another disease which is more prevalent than the one-in-eight statistic for breast cancer that is tossed around. It is Alzheimer's. And the writer makes a valid point that breast cancer is full of ribbons and magazine articles on it, Alzheimer's is not.

When I first saw the article title I thought she would be writing about heart disease and felt a little pang of reminder that while two cancer diagnoses don't necessarily keep me as a potential member of the centenarian club, I do have obligations to keep other parts of my body in good shape. It never crossed my mind that Alzheimer's was that prevalent. And its just a nasty way to go.

With that said, my life should not be focused on breast cancer or living with whining about my ever present ailments. I also need to expand my tiny horizons and think about staying healthy to prevent additional, nastier ailments.

A cancer diagnosis kind of makes you take a second thought on long term planning - why am I saving for retirement at this point???? Taking care of myself and thinking about other ailments is probably just as important.

Public utlities

Okay this is a bit off my usual topics but I have had my fill of dealing with public entities this weekend. Thursday night a little thunderstorm blew on through the area. It caused Boston's July 4th celebration to be cut short, even though it had been moved up a day. Anyone who was awake through it, said it was significant. Me, I slept through it in a room with a fan and an air conditioner running.

Then Friday morning, Arthur came to visit and we got 2.5 inches of rain from about 9am through the next morning. That was on top of what had already come down over night. (9am is when I found my little rain gauge and other garden decor in the basement and decided to run outside and put them out in the garden between the rain drops. I did get a little damp but I did dry off.

Then we started seeing all the damage. Never call NStar or Verizon on the 4th of July. NStar got me a cranky lady (who had probably received a few million calls already) who said the branch swinging on the lines across the street was not their problem. NStar's line is the top cable only. They don't want to hear about anything else. They didn't care that it isn't really a branch but the top 20' of a tree which are now 30' down the road hanging 15' up.

 

I then tried calling Verizon and the only person I got was a guy in Florida in billing. He didn't know who I should talk to but did think that a technician might be able to help me. 30 minutes later I was still on hold.

I then picked up my cell and called the town's DPW and spoke to the nice guy who said they had been out all day already cleaning up. He said they might have a little more pull with NStar.

Yesterday, my husband noticed that the support wire for the power cables that come to our house from pole is disconnected. I considering waiting until Monday so that I could speak to a nicer human being at NStar. I was informed by my better half that I should call today to get in their cue for repairs.

I called NStar again and got another crabby lady who informed me that she would send it to dispatch and they would decide if it was their responsibility or not.  I didn't bother to tell her that I had already checked their website and it clearly looks to me that it is their problem.

All we can do now is wait and see if it is miraculously repaired by NStar. We do not need to be home so it should just happen. I will wait until tomorrow and try calling the town and Verizon again. I hate dealing with public utlities

Back to Reality Monday

Its back to reality Monday around here. We had to set the alarm clock - just say we get up early and move slowly.

I haven't been to work since Christmas Eve. I meant to go in last Thursday and Friday but a tiny snowstorm prevented that. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of holidays, house guests, cooking, chaos, movies, sleeping late, and not a single doctor appointment.

Back to reality starts this morning. I work Monday through Thursday this week for as late as I can, which might be 3pm. I have problems with a full work day and four days in a row is a stretch for me. Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment - what fun. I hope to make it to the gym three times this week. I also have to go for blood work at some point in the next few days.

Normal life returns. No more sleeping late, darn. We even got the cat to trained to request breakfast at 8am instead of 5am.