Its not a tumor....

So life in cancerland is basically summed up by the one thought: "will it come back?"

As this child helpfully tells us in Kindergarten Cop, that is the one thing we can't get out of our heads.

Every ache and pain could be a something, meaning a bad something. We have to learn is how to balance that thought. Sometimes helpful people say wonderful, well meaning things like this to us which help raise our cancer-cootie-concern-level. Or sometimes a peak inside our insides in an MRI, PET or CT scan gives us bad news. At which point the cancerland roller coaster starts going up the really steep hill and becomes a whirling twisting ride until we hopefully can get back to the smaller hills.

No I am fine but this video popped up on my radar the other day and it makes a valid point.

That recurrence thing

Its the other elephant in the room that only the cancer person can understand. What do I do if it comes back????? As Barbara Jacoby points out over at Let Life Happen, we need a bit more focus on breast cancer, and other cancer, recurrences.

Ask any cancer patient that made it through treatment, the next concern is 'what if it comes back?' Well as my little voice of experience speaks up, at my second cancer diagnosis I was slightly  more prepared than my first. I  had a 'taking care of me plan' in place by day 2, even though I was so stressed about surgeries, chemo and all that fun.

Since I had already lived the cancer roller coaster for 26 years, I had some experience to fall back on. It didn't prevent me from completely freaking out but it did allow me to have a little voice inside me saying 'you did this one and got through it, you can do it again'. I also had the me plan in place.I was in a support group before my first surgery. I signed up for another support group - this one was introduction to breast cancer. At the end of treatment, when many cancer patients fall apart, I had a therapist. I blogged, I talked, and I coped with it all, with varying levels of anxiety.

My plan for cancer three is already in place. I don't care what kind of cancer it may be, but I will put me to the forefront once again. What will it take to keep me sane through the process? Probably more or continued therapy. Maybe a second opinion at some big fancy cancer hospital if its some kind of recurrence.

But what I would really like to see is more research into why some cancers recur and some don't and as to why some people are more likely to have their cancer recur than others. Give me some info people! I need to know. Thank you.

That recurrence thing

Its the other elephant in the room that only the cancer person can understand. What do I do if it comes back????? As Barbara Jacoby points out over at Let Life Happen, we need a bit more focus on breast cancer, and other cancer, recurrences.

Ask any cancer patient that made it through treatment, the next concern is 'what if it comes back?' Well as my little voice of experience speaks up, at my second cancer diagnosis I was slightly  more prepared than my first. I  had a 'taking care of me plan' in place by day 2, even though I was so stressed about surgeries, chemo and all that fun.

Since I had already lived the cancer roller coaster for 26 years, I had some experience to fall back on. It didn't prevent me from completely freaking out but it did allow me to have a little voice inside me saying 'you did this one and got through it, you can do it again'. I also had the me plan in place.I was in a support group before my first surgery. I signed up for another support group - this one was introduction to breast cancer. At the end of treatment, when many cancer patients fall apart, I had a therapist. I blogged, I talked, and I coped with it all, with varying levels of anxiety.

My plan for cancer three is already in place. I don't care what kind of cancer it may be, but I will put me to the forefront once again. What will it take to keep me sane through the process? Probably more or continued therapy. Maybe a second opinion at some big fancy cancer hospital if its some kind of recurrence.

But what I would really like to see is more research into why some cancers recur and some don't and as to why some people are more likely to have their cancer recur than others. Give me some info people! I need to know. Thank you.

Its not a tumor....

So life in cancerland is basically summed up by the one thought: "will it come back?"

As this child helpfully tells us in Kindergarten Cop, that is the one thing we can't get out of our heads.

Every ache and pain could be a something, meaning a bad something. We have to learn is how to balance that thought. Sometimes helpful people say wonderful, well meaning things like this to us which help raise our cancer-cootie-concern-level. Or sometimes a peak inside our insides in an MRI, PET or CT scan gives us bad news. At which point the cancerland roller coaster starts going up the really steep hill and becomes a whirling twisting ride until we hopefully can get back to the smaller hills.

No I am fine but this video popped up on my radar the other day and it makes a valid point.

Coping or not

Sometimes life just gets very complicated, full of ups and downs, stress and more stress. I don't cope as well these days as I used to. In a spurt of optimism this summer, I told my therapist I didn't want to see her monthly but every six weeks instead.

Then every thing around me has gone to hell in a hand basket so to speak. I have some new issues with my ailments so the medical roller coaster keeps on going. I have family members who have new health issues. I volunteered for a huge project which ends next week.

Its peak craft fair season and I have a fair every other weekend. And one car had its check engine light start flashing, the other car - does it need snow tires? What about bills - too many to pay between sequester and shut down pay cuts? And, and, and, and..... Eeeekkkk!

I finally go back to see my therapist tomorrow. I think I have a list of issues to discuss with her - maybe a relatively long list even.

But I am coping. I think. I feel like I have a million overscheduled days in a row now in my life. I think I need a vacation - but that's not happening for a while. Crap.