Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Right to choose
Would you move to Oregon if necessary? I would.
I hope that you do not disagree with this woman's choices but I completely support her. She has a very unfortunate medical diagnosis at age 29 and has taken steps to live her life as best she can. She has gotten the medication she needs to die with dignity as she wants. She isn't rushing to use it but is much more relaxed knowing that when the time comes, she will be able to choose.
I am a firm believer in DNR's and palliative care. But sometimes I think it doesn't go far enough. First of all with a DNR, someone else is making the decision on your body that it is time to stop treating you. Second of all, what if the DNR happened after months of agony? Instead of at the beginning of all the agony. Palliative care is wonderful but it can only do so much. What if your body develops a resistance to all the pain medications? Where would that leave you?
I would move to Oregon in a heartbeat if necessary.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Its a sad day
Robin Williams died from an apparent suicide yesterday. But I smiled after reading some of his most famous quotes. Here are some of my favorites:
"Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the 'O' stand for? O my God, it's early!" - Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
[Mork picks up an egg] "Hello? Hello? Anybody in there? Little hatchling brothers, you must revolt against your oppressors. You have nothing to lose but your shells."
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
You can read the rest here.
But the sad thing is that he committed suicide after dealing with depression. I too have depression issues as do millions of other Americans. But no one wants to talk about it. Its one of those diseases, like hemorrhoids, which are embarrassing. The problem with embarrassing ailments is people don't want to talk about them. So they do not communicate them to anyone, even a doctor, which can endanger their health.
My depression got worse with my second cancer diagnosis but I probably had it for years before. But damn it, cancer is depressing. And coping with it, for a second time, isn't easy. Treatment was the answer.
I don't know more about Robin Williams' depression story and only know what I hear on the news. His humor always had a bit of an edge. But he did make us all laugh as we listened to him. It is very sad that he is now gone.
"Crying on the inside, laughing on the outside."
"Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the 'O' stand for? O my God, it's early!" - Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
[Mork picks up an egg] "Hello? Hello? Anybody in there? Little hatchling brothers, you must revolt against your oppressors. You have nothing to lose but your shells."
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
You can read the rest here.
But the sad thing is that he committed suicide after dealing with depression. I too have depression issues as do millions of other Americans. But no one wants to talk about it. Its one of those diseases, like hemorrhoids, which are embarrassing. The problem with embarrassing ailments is people don't want to talk about them. So they do not communicate them to anyone, even a doctor, which can endanger their health.
My depression got worse with my second cancer diagnosis but I probably had it for years before. But damn it, cancer is depressing. And coping with it, for a second time, isn't easy. Treatment was the answer.
I don't know more about Robin Williams' depression story and only know what I hear on the news. His humor always had a bit of an edge. But he did make us all laugh as we listened to him. It is very sad that he is now gone.
"Crying on the inside, laughing on the outside."
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Shallowness has its place
When dealing with the stress, sometimes we resort to the silly side of life and satire. I mean why not? Its coping as best we can.
Shortly after my diagnosis, I read a great book called "Cancer Made Me A Shallower Person" by Miriam Engelberg. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and died from it in 2006. When I read her book in late 2007 or early 2008, I think I threw it across the room when I figured out she died. I was mad. I was not ready for sad endings.
In the six plus years since I have often thought of this book and how I should give it a second chance. It was the first graphic novel I read so perhaps that is part of my response to it. Now, I just read this blog post on the New York Times Well section, living with cancer, Living with Cancer: "Chronic not Cured". Now I think it will read it again. I hope the library still has a copy.
Shortly after my diagnosis, I read a great book called "Cancer Made Me A Shallower Person" by Miriam Engelberg. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and died from it in 2006. When I read her book in late 2007 or early 2008, I think I threw it across the room when I figured out she died. I was mad. I was not ready for sad endings.
In the six plus years since I have often thought of this book and how I should give it a second chance. It was the first graphic novel I read so perhaps that is part of my response to it. Now, I just read this blog post on the New York Times Well section, living with cancer, Living with Cancer: "Chronic not Cured". Now I think it will read it again. I hope the library still has a copy.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Right to try laws
I have mixed emotions on right to try laws. These are laws which hope to circumvent federal laws and get drug companies go make new and experimental drugs available to patients who are looking for that one last chance, when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Colorado, Missouri, and Louisiana have already passed these laws due to strong social media programs.With right to try, the patient needs a prescription or recommendation from their doctor for th e new drug that they take straight to the drug company.
It sounds like a good idea for patients who are looking for that last chance. There are patients who have benefitted from these last chances but here are the issues:
Colorado, Missouri, and Louisiana have already passed these laws due to strong social media programs.With right to try, the patient needs a prescription or recommendation from their doctor for th e new drug that they take straight to the drug company.
It sounds like a good idea for patients who are looking for that last chance. There are patients who have benefitted from these last chances but here are the issues:
- the FDA already has a program for compassionate use where patients have to fill out s lengthy form that usually gets approved.
- Drug companies who provide drugs under state law and ignore federal law run the risk of making the federal government a bit unhappy,
Monday, May 4, 2015
Back from our mini vacation
We had a great time. We stayed at a little beach front hotel on Cape Cod. The weather wasn't perfect but we enjoyed ourselves. However my back is now giving me lots of pain so I will take it easy for a few days to see if it recovers.
Tomorrow I will go to the wake for a friend who just died from breast cancer. I had hoped to go visit her instead. I knew she wasn't well and under hospice care. She had been stage IV since January 2013 but treatment didn't seem to slow the cancer down. It will be very sad. She was only 55 and was first diagnosed about the same time is me.
Cancer really sucks sometimes.
Tomorrow I will go to the wake for a friend who just died from breast cancer. I had hoped to go visit her instead. I knew she wasn't well and under hospice care. She had been stage IV since January 2013 but treatment didn't seem to slow the cancer down. It will be very sad. She was only 55 and was first diagnosed about the same time is me.
Cancer really sucks sometimes.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Cancer death rates down but...
Cancer death rates are down for the more 'popular' cancers in general in the last few decades. But then the old 80/20 rule kicks in and these cancers get most of the research and as a result the 'unpopular' cancer death rates aren't really going anywhere.
So here's an article on how colon cancer rates are down. It used to be the most common cancer killer in the US. Now it is dramatically down because of screening - those lovely colonoscopies that we all love so much.
However as this Australian article points out the cancers that are not as common, don't have ribbon decorated walks, runs, months, etc, often don't get as much funding and the death rates haven't budged. These cancers include:
Although these numbers refer to Australia and the video includes the comment that people leave the country for elsewhere for treatment for these under researched cancers, I think that the proportion is probably similar elsewhere. And the point is still valid - the cancers that do not receive the research dollars are the ones where the death rates have not declined.
Another area where research dollars are lacking is in metastatic cancer - cancer which has spread and cannot be cured. For example, a very small portion of breast cancer research dollars goes to metastatic breast cancer research. Yes metastatic breast cancer is incurable but if there was more research, patients might live longer and more comfortably.
It seems to me that cancer research gets to the point of here are clues on its origin but less information and research is done on how its spread. I know researchers are trying to find how to stop metastases and there is a long way to go.
So while the big picture may get a nice rosy hint in the news headlines, there are details behind it which aren't quite as bright.
So here's an article on how colon cancer rates are down. It used to be the most common cancer killer in the US. Now it is dramatically down because of screening - those lovely colonoscopies that we all love so much.
However as this Australian article points out the cancers that are not as common, don't have ribbon decorated walks, runs, months, etc, often don't get as much funding and the death rates haven't budged. These cancers include:
Another area where research dollars are lacking is in metastatic cancer - cancer which has spread and cannot be cured. For example, a very small portion of breast cancer research dollars goes to metastatic breast cancer research. Yes metastatic breast cancer is incurable but if there was more research, patients might live longer and more comfortably.
It seems to me that cancer research gets to the point of here are clues on its origin but less information and research is done on how its spread. I know researchers are trying to find how to stop metastases and there is a long way to go.
So while the big picture may get a nice rosy hint in the news headlines, there are details behind it which aren't quite as bright.
Monday, March 16, 2015
I need to start my own
Not that I have any plans on going anywhere soon. But I read this obituary yesterday and, after laughing at several points, decided I need to write my own.
Someone's death, while sad, doesn't mean they should be remembered with sadness but by how they lived their life. Walter apparently lived his life with humor and that is how he is remembered.
I want to be remembered how I am and not by little bits of information such as marital status, cause of death, blah, blah, blah. Let's keep life interesting. I better start writing stuff down now so I remember what I want to include....
I just wonder how long Walter's family will keep his ashes around. (And what are you supposed to do with someone's ashes anyway?)
Someone's death, while sad, doesn't mean they should be remembered with sadness but by how they lived their life. Walter apparently lived his life with humor and that is how he is remembered.
I want to be remembered how I am and not by little bits of information such as marital status, cause of death, blah, blah, blah. Let's keep life interesting. I better start writing stuff down now so I remember what I want to include....
I just wonder how long Walter's family will keep his ashes around. (And what are you supposed to do with someone's ashes anyway?)
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
How long - what every cancer patient wants to know
At every cancer diagnosis, one of the first thing every patient wants to know is "How long do I have?". (If you didn't wonder, there is something seriously wrong with you in my opinion.)
And they never really tell you. You go look up the statistics and find out the five year survival rates - which are always based on what was standard of treatment then and not now. You can over think all the averages to figure out your own expiration date. You ask your doctor questions - I once asked my oncologist what my odds were (after a lot of deep thought and gut wrenching decision making) and got some nice vagueness that didn't mean squat.
Doctors seemed to be trained not to give you a solid answer. Someone posted a link to this article by a self described 36 year old non-smoking neurosurgeon who was recently given a nasty cancer diagnosis. I read it and a lot more makes sense.
The patient/doctor clarifies about what the doctors are trained to say:
"My standard pieces include “it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so get your daily rest” and “illness can drive a family apart or bring it together — be aware of each other’s needs and find extra support.”
And they never really tell you. You go look up the statistics and find out the five year survival rates - which are always based on what was standard of treatment then and not now. You can over think all the averages to figure out your own expiration date. You ask your doctor questions - I once asked my oncologist what my odds were (after a lot of deep thought and gut wrenching decision making) and got some nice vagueness that didn't mean squat.
Doctors seemed to be trained not to give you a solid answer. Someone posted a link to this article by a self described 36 year old non-smoking neurosurgeon who was recently given a nasty cancer diagnosis. I read it and a lot more makes sense.
The patient/doctor clarifies about what the doctors are trained to say:
"My standard pieces include “it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so get your daily rest” and “illness can drive a family apart or bring it together — be aware of each other’s needs and find extra support.”
I learned a few basic rules. Be honest about the prognosis but always leave some room for hope. Be vague but accurate: “days to a few weeks,” “weeks to a few months,” “months to a few years,” “a few years to a decade or more.” We never cite detailed statistics, and usually advise against Googling survival numbers, assuming the average patient doesn’t possess a nuanced understanding of statistics."
"In brain-cancer research, for example, while the numbers for average survival time haven’t changed much, there’s an increasingly long tail on the curve, indicating a few patients are living for years. The problem is that you can’t tell an individual patient where she is on the curve. It’s impossible, irresponsible even, to be more precise than you can be accurate."
It is true that we can't expect a doctor to pinpoint our expiration and then we cannot expect them to give an answer with any sort of specificity. But we still ask. Because we still want to know how long.
The guilt factor
This is a less discussed issue relating to cancer diagnosis and treatment - the guilt factor. Sometimes its not even mentioned, while other times it is just brushed off as something you need to learn to live with.
Guilt is what got you to do what you were supposed to when you were a child. Guilt is what your morals use to keep you in line.
But then we feel cancer guilt which is different. Why didn't I get it and they did? Why did they have a recurrence and I didn't?
The more cancer friends I have gained, I have also lost some. I have the little list of in memorium blogs I used to follow, the group of friends on Facebook that are no longer here and are in memorium, there are the phone numbers in my phone that I know don't work any more. And when they do again, it will be a stranger's voice on the other end.
It seems now every month or two, or even more frequently, someone I know either has just learned about their stage IV diagnosis or I learn about their funeral arrangements.
Each time, there is a double dose of emotions the little tiny - "I'm glad it wasn't me" which is immediately followed by the huge "how could I even think that?" and then followed by cancer survivor guilt.
Sometimes the guilt lurks in the back ground and sometimes it emerges up front. It gives us down days but then we stuff it away and we learn to cope again. But its always there.
Guilt is what got you to do what you were supposed to when you were a child. Guilt is what your morals use to keep you in line.
But then we feel cancer guilt which is different. Why didn't I get it and they did? Why did they have a recurrence and I didn't?
The more cancer friends I have gained, I have also lost some. I have the little list of in memorium blogs I used to follow, the group of friends on Facebook that are no longer here and are in memorium, there are the phone numbers in my phone that I know don't work any more. And when they do again, it will be a stranger's voice on the other end.
It seems now every month or two, or even more frequently, someone I know either has just learned about their stage IV diagnosis or I learn about their funeral arrangements.
Each time, there is a double dose of emotions the little tiny - "I'm glad it wasn't me" which is immediately followed by the huge "how could I even think that?" and then followed by cancer survivor guilt.
Sometimes the guilt lurks in the back ground and sometimes it emerges up front. It gives us down days but then we stuff it away and we learn to cope again. But its always there.
I made it
The past six weeks of my life have been indescribably stressful and fatiguing for numerous reasons. All I needed to do was get to November 21 (which is today you will note) and I can relax and life will go back to its normal pace. The reasons for my stress were:
Now that I have a little more time in my life, I can take some needed time to reflect and reassess after such violence hits so close to home.
I made it through a very hectic time and can take some time to mourn before the holiday next week.
- Both my parents had health issues - the exact issues are their stories to tell, not mine but I will say they both have a long road ahead of them but they should be fine in the end.
- I had three craft fairs recently which took entire days out of my weekends and made me want to crawl back into bed for a week after each.
- I have had a few minor medical issues to deal with but they are dealt wit. Its just the time that it took to deal with them.
- I volunteered for a six week research project which helps with breast cancer research as part of the DOD research programs. It was enlightening, optimistic, and enjoyable. But it was a lot of work and ended up with the past three days spent in a hotel outside Dulles airport in meetings discussing things.
- I can't remember the rest but there was a lot going on my life.
Now that I have a little more time in my life, I can take some needed time to reflect and reassess after such violence hits so close to home.
I made it through a very hectic time and can take some time to mourn before the holiday next week.
Monday, January 19, 2015
Right to try laws
I have mixed emotions on right to try laws. These are laws which hope to circumvent federal laws and get drug companies go make new and experimental drugs available to patients who are looking for that one last chance, when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Colorado, Missouri, and Louisiana have already passed these laws due to strong social media programs.With right to try, the patient needs a prescription or recommendation from their doctor for th e new drug that they take straight to the drug company.
It sounds like a good idea for patients who are looking for that last chance. There are patients who have benefitted from these last chances but here are the issues:
Colorado, Missouri, and Louisiana have already passed these laws due to strong social media programs.With right to try, the patient needs a prescription or recommendation from their doctor for th e new drug that they take straight to the drug company.
It sounds like a good idea for patients who are looking for that last chance. There are patients who have benefitted from these last chances but here are the issues:
- the FDA already has a program for compassionate use where patients have to fill out s lengthy form that usually gets approved.
- Drug companies who provide drugs under state law and ignore federal law run the risk of making the federal government a bit unhappy,
The emotional breakthrough
In a few weeks I am going to get together with some friends. When we were all diagnosed with breast cancer, we belonged to the same 'introductory' support group. Six years later we are still in touch and get together. I have been bad recently and haven't made it to some of the recent get togethers - between being sick and on vacation, I missed more than a few.
One member of the group passed away a few years ago. When she was in our group, she was on her second diagnosis and later had a recurrence. We supported her through more chemo. We still miss her.
Another member was diagnosed with stomach cancer a year and a half ago with metastases (from one of the cancers - I'm not sure which or even if she knows - to her bones). She has been through chemo twice now and she just had another PET scan showing her bone mets have progressed. She recently started chemo again.
She is struggling emotionally with this because I think she finally she is realizing that this is the way her life will be. Chemo followed by scan, more chemo or other treatment, throw in a few clinical trials, and more tests and bad news.
I have other friends who are in stage IV. Some of them cope better than others. Some family members cope better than others as well. I think, now I have never had stage IV cancer so I am supposing here, that there is an emotional breakthrough when they finally realize that their treatment will never end in a positive fashion.
Some people take it better than others. I know people who at the stage IV diagnosis, start saying they are terminal. The friend I am seeing tomorrow, and many others, were seeing the world with rose colored glasses, and assuming that life will continue to go on.
Eventually they come to the realization comes and they have the emotional breakthrough where they realize that they are living the life of the metastatic patient with chemo, trials, scans, and more and it won't end positively.
One member of the group passed away a few years ago. When she was in our group, she was on her second diagnosis and later had a recurrence. We supported her through more chemo. We still miss her.
Another member was diagnosed with stomach cancer a year and a half ago with metastases (from one of the cancers - I'm not sure which or even if she knows - to her bones). She has been through chemo twice now and she just had another PET scan showing her bone mets have progressed. She recently started chemo again.
She is struggling emotionally with this because I think she finally she is realizing that this is the way her life will be. Chemo followed by scan, more chemo or other treatment, throw in a few clinical trials, and more tests and bad news.
I have other friends who are in stage IV. Some of them cope better than others. Some family members cope better than others as well. I think, now I have never had stage IV cancer so I am supposing here, that there is an emotional breakthrough when they finally realize that their treatment will never end in a positive fashion.
Some people take it better than others. I know people who at the stage IV diagnosis, start saying they are terminal. The friend I am seeing tomorrow, and many others, were seeing the world with rose colored glasses, and assuming that life will continue to go on.
Eventually they come to the realization comes and they have the emotional breakthrough where they realize that they are living the life of the metastatic patient with chemo, trials, scans, and more and it won't end positively.
Cancer death rates down but...
Cancer death rates are down for the more 'popular' cancers in general in the last few decades. But then the old 80/20 rule kicks in and these cancers get most of the research and as a result the 'unpopular' cancer death rates aren't really going anywhere.
So here's an article on how colon cancer rates are down. It used to be the most common cancer killer in the US. Now it is dramatically down because of screening - those lovely colonoscopies that we all love so much.
However as this Australian article points out the cancers that are not as common, don't have ribbon decorated walks, runs, months, etc, often don't get as much funding and the death rates haven't budged. These cancers include:
Although these numbers refer to Australia and the video includes the comment that people leave the country for elsewhere for treatment for these under researched cancers, I think that the proportion is probably similar elsewhere. And the point is still valid - the cancers that do not receive the research dollars are the ones where the death rates have not declined.
Another area where research dollars are lacking is in metastatic cancer - cancer which has spread and cannot be cured. For example, a very small portion of breast cancer research dollars goes to metastatic breast cancer research. Yes metastatic breast cancer is incurable but if there was more research, patients might live longer and more comfortably.
It seems to me that cancer research gets to the point of here are clues on its origin but less information and research is done on how its spread. I know researchers are trying to find how to stop metastases and there is a long way to go.
So while the big picture may get a nice rosy hint in the news headlines, there are details behind it which aren't quite as bright.
So here's an article on how colon cancer rates are down. It used to be the most common cancer killer in the US. Now it is dramatically down because of screening - those lovely colonoscopies that we all love so much.
However as this Australian article points out the cancers that are not as common, don't have ribbon decorated walks, runs, months, etc, often don't get as much funding and the death rates haven't budged. These cancers include:
Another area where research dollars are lacking is in metastatic cancer - cancer which has spread and cannot be cured. For example, a very small portion of breast cancer research dollars goes to metastatic breast cancer research. Yes metastatic breast cancer is incurable but if there was more research, patients might live longer and more comfortably.
It seems to me that cancer research gets to the point of here are clues on its origin but less information and research is done on how its spread. I know researchers are trying to find how to stop metastases and there is a long way to go.
So while the big picture may get a nice rosy hint in the news headlines, there are details behind it which aren't quite as bright.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Amanda - you left a legacy
I learned about Amanda yesterday. She was Canadian. She was a goth. She has a brother named James. She hadn't talked to her mother for five years. I know a few little scraps about her because she tweeted her life @TrappedAtMyDesk.
Yesterday morning I read this article on The Meta Picture: http://themetapicture.com/the-final-messages-of-a-dying-girl/
Then I went to Twitter and looked up @TrappedAtMyDesk and read her tweets. All 169 of them. Go do that.
Then this morning I went back and found this video on Twitter.
It is one of the most powerful videos I have ever watched.
Finally I found this blog post by the creator of the video on the life we leave behind.
One of her last tweets was:
Don't spend time being angry at people. Forgive them. Life is entirely too short.
She left a legacy.
For the naysayers who said people with cancer shouldn't use social media? You are stupid and narow minded. Look what you could have learned.
Yesterday morning I read this article on The Meta Picture: http://themetapicture.com/the-final-messages-of-a-dying-girl/
Then I went to Twitter and looked up @TrappedAtMyDesk and read her tweets. All 169 of them. Go do that.
Then this morning I went back and found this video on Twitter.
It is one of the most powerful videos I have ever watched.
Finally I found this blog post by the creator of the video on the life we leave behind.
One of her last tweets was:
Don't spend time being angry at people. Forgive them. Life is entirely too short.
She left a legacy.
For the naysayers who said people with cancer shouldn't use social media? You are stupid and narow minded. Look what you could have learned.
Friday, January 16, 2015
I need to start my own
Not that I have any plans on going anywhere soon. But I read this obituary yesterday and, after laughing at several points, decided I need to write my own.
Someone's death, while sad, doesn't mean they should be remembered with sadness but by how they lived their life. Walter apparently lived his life with humor and that is how he is remembered.
I want to be remembered how I am and not by little bits of information such as marital status, cause of death, blah, blah, blah. Let's keep life interesting. I better start writing stuff down now so I remember what I want to include....
I just wonder how long Walter's family will keep his ashes around. (And what are you supposed to do with someone's ashes anyway?)
Someone's death, while sad, doesn't mean they should be remembered with sadness but by how they lived their life. Walter apparently lived his life with humor and that is how he is remembered.
I want to be remembered how I am and not by little bits of information such as marital status, cause of death, blah, blah, blah. Let's keep life interesting. I better start writing stuff down now so I remember what I want to include....
I just wonder how long Walter's family will keep his ashes around. (And what are you supposed to do with someone's ashes anyway?)
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Shallowness has its place
When dealing with the stress, sometimes we resort to the silly side of life and satire. I mean why not? Its coping as best we can.
Shortly after my diagnosis, I read a great book called "Cancer Made Me A Shallower Person" by Miriam Engelberg. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and died from it in 2006. When I read her book in late 2007 or early 2008, I think I threw it across the room when I figured out she died. I was mad. I was not ready for sad endings.
In the six plus years since I have often thought of this book and how I should give it a second chance. It was the first graphic novel I read so perhaps that is part of my response to it. Now, I just read this blog post on the New York Times Well section, living with cancer, Living with Cancer: "Chronic not Cured". Now I think it will read it again. I hope the library still has a copy.
Shortly after my diagnosis, I read a great book called "Cancer Made Me A Shallower Person" by Miriam Engelberg. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and died from it in 2006. When I read her book in late 2007 or early 2008, I think I threw it across the room when I figured out she died. I was mad. I was not ready for sad endings.
In the six plus years since I have often thought of this book and how I should give it a second chance. It was the first graphic novel I read so perhaps that is part of my response to it. Now, I just read this blog post on the New York Times Well section, living with cancer, Living with Cancer: "Chronic not Cured". Now I think it will read it again. I hope the library still has a copy.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Its a sad day
Robin Williams died from an apparent suicide yesterday. But I smiled after reading some of his most famous quotes. Here are some of my favorites:
"Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the 'O' stand for? O my God, it's early!" - Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
[Mork picks up an egg] "Hello? Hello? Anybody in there? Little hatchling brothers, you must revolt against your oppressors. You have nothing to lose but your shells."
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
You can read the rest here.
But the sad thing is that he committed suicide after dealing with depression. I too have depression issues as do millions of other Americans. But no one wants to talk about it. Its one of those diseases, like hemorrhoids, which are embarrassing. The problem with embarrassing ailments is people don't want to talk about them. So they do not communicate them to anyone, even a doctor, which can endanger their health.
My depression got worse with my second cancer diagnosis but I probably had it for years before. But damn it, cancer is depressing. And coping with it, for a second time, isn't easy. Treatment was the answer.
I don't know more about Robin Williams' depression story and only know what I hear on the news. His humor always had a bit of an edge. But he did make us all laugh as we listened to him. It is very sad that he is now gone.
"Crying on the inside, laughing on the outside."
"Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the 'O' stand for? O my God, it's early!" - Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
[Mork picks up an egg] "Hello? Hello? Anybody in there? Little hatchling brothers, you must revolt against your oppressors. You have nothing to lose but your shells."
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
You can read the rest here.
But the sad thing is that he committed suicide after dealing with depression. I too have depression issues as do millions of other Americans. But no one wants to talk about it. Its one of those diseases, like hemorrhoids, which are embarrassing. The problem with embarrassing ailments is people don't want to talk about them. So they do not communicate them to anyone, even a doctor, which can endanger their health.
My depression got worse with my second cancer diagnosis but I probably had it for years before. But damn it, cancer is depressing. And coping with it, for a second time, isn't easy. Treatment was the answer.
I don't know more about Robin Williams' depression story and only know what I hear on the news. His humor always had a bit of an edge. But he did make us all laugh as we listened to him. It is very sad that he is now gone.
"Crying on the inside, laughing on the outside."
Saturday, January 10, 2015
When to pull the plug?
The ever so smart 'them' tell us to have the important discussions ahead of time. You know the discussions about life support, casket choices, funeral ceremonies, and all that. Those uncomfortable discussions that should not be avoided.
The young man in this video was taken off life support at his request and died shortly after. You need to watch the video to get the whole story.
I fully support this decision. He made his opinions known prior to his fall. He repeated his wishes twice to the doctors and to his family members.
I am so glad that there was no dispute, no need to call in lawyers and get a judge to sign off. This is the way that these decisions should take place - with no fanfare, no discussion - just the confirmation needed.
The young man in this video was taken off life support at his request and died shortly after. You need to watch the video to get the whole story.
I fully support this decision. He made his opinions known prior to his fall. He repeated his wishes twice to the doctors and to his family members.
I am so glad that there was no dispute, no need to call in lawyers and get a judge to sign off. This is the way that these decisions should take place - with no fanfare, no discussion - just the confirmation needed.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Right to choose
Would you move to Oregon if necessary? I would.
I hope that you do not disagree with this woman's choices but I completely support her. She has a very unfortunate medical diagnosis at age 29 and has taken steps to live her life as best she can. She has gotten the medication she needs to die with dignity as she wants. She isn't rushing to use it but is much more relaxed knowing that when the time comes, she will be able to choose.
I am a firm believer in DNR's and palliative care. But sometimes I think it doesn't go far enough. First of all with a DNR, someone else is making the decision on your body that it is time to stop treating you. Second of all, what if the DNR happened after months of agony? Instead of at the beginning of all the agony. Palliative care is wonderful but it can only do so much. What if your body develops a resistance to all the pain medications? Where would that leave you?
I would move to Oregon in a heartbeat if necessary.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
What would you do?
Here's the scenario. You had cancer once and chemotherapy almost killed you so you swore you would never do it again. You get a new cancer or a recurrence and the oncologist recommends more chemotherapy. Would you do it?
This is the case of a friend of a friend. Apparently the first rounds of chemo nearly killed her by causing life threatening diarrhea for weeks. Her doctors told her a week or so ago, its back and want her to restart chemotherapy. She said no.
My friend told me this story as she is trying to find her so she can talk to her. I can completely understand the situation.
My first inclination would probably be to refuse more chemo if I had nearly died the first time. It might take a lot of convincing to get me to try it again. I would want to know what would the doctors be able to do to help prevent of the situation. I mean would I rather die from diarrhea or from cancer? I'm being real here.
Us cancer people may make what others consider weird decisions and discussions. We have already faced a potentially deadly diagnosis. Sometimes the treatment is pretty nasty. I mean its the slash, poison and burn - surgery, chemo, and radiation. Its no fun. You feel like crap. You lose your hair. You deal with radiation burns on sensitive body parts.You may be alive during treatment but you certainly aren't living.
I know I would have second thoughts and look for options that wouldn't be as harsh. What would you do?
This is the case of a friend of a friend. Apparently the first rounds of chemo nearly killed her by causing life threatening diarrhea for weeks. Her doctors told her a week or so ago, its back and want her to restart chemotherapy. She said no.
My friend told me this story as she is trying to find her so she can talk to her. I can completely understand the situation.
My first inclination would probably be to refuse more chemo if I had nearly died the first time. It might take a lot of convincing to get me to try it again. I would want to know what would the doctors be able to do to help prevent of the situation. I mean would I rather die from diarrhea or from cancer? I'm being real here.
Us cancer people may make what others consider weird decisions and discussions. We have already faced a potentially deadly diagnosis. Sometimes the treatment is pretty nasty. I mean its the slash, poison and burn - surgery, chemo, and radiation. Its no fun. You feel like crap. You lose your hair. You deal with radiation burns on sensitive body parts.You may be alive during treatment but you certainly aren't living.
I know I would have second thoughts and look for options that wouldn't be as harsh. What would you do?
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