A life changing experience

I am not writing this as a fundraising plea but to tell about a life changing experience. We all may need these sometimes.

There are breast cancer retreats, support groups, pink groups, pink girls, and I can go on and on and on. But occasionally one comes along which is a life changing experience for the participants. A good example of that is Casting for Recovery. It teaches women with breast cancer a new skill, provides psychosocial and medical support, and after a three day all expense paid weekend, have a life changing experience. Read this story about a woman in Oregon and her experience on the retreat. 

When I first heard about Casting for Recovery, I thought how cool is that. I'll have to sign up and I did. Then when I was driving to the retreat stuck in Cape traffic on an August Friday afternoon, I thought to myself: 'What am I doing? Going away for the weekend with a bunch of strangers. How did I get myself into this one?' And I came up with a plan. I was going to have gall bladder surgery a month later. I decided if it was awful, I could always fake a gall bladder attack and leave.

By the end of the weekend, I had new friends, reached a new level of acceptance with my medical history, and relearned some childhood fly fishing skills. It was a life changing experience for me.

More on men with breast cancer

One of every one hundred cases of breast cancer diagnosed will be male. And did you know that one in four men diagnosed with breast cancer will die from it? Two men who were diagnosed with breast cancer and bonded over it, joined to create a new organization called Breast Cancer Brothers to help support men going through this terrible disease.

An independent film is being made about their journey called "Times Like These" 

There are no big research studies on male breast cancer. All their treatments are based on studies done on women. This is so sad.

Another hidden side of breast cancer - male patients

Yes breast cancer can and does occur in men. Less than 0.1 percent of all breast cancer diagnoses are male (I think that's the number - its very low). Until I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had no idea men could get breast cancer. Then a friend's cat died of breast cancer. Basically any animal with the right physiology can get breast cancer.

So if you think its bad to get breast cancer as a woman. How do you think a man would feel if he walked into the breast cancer treatment area and its full of women? Or he had to go for a mammogram in the 'pink area' of the hospital?

I can't imagine what it would like to be dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis and feeling literally like the 'odd man out' in the women focused world of breast cancer. 

I can  think of numerous places and instances during my cancer treatment that I felt was very female focused. Even the exam rooms are filled with pictures, diagrams, and schematics for breast cancer diagnosis and treatment all focused on the female body.

But it happens, men do get breast cancer, and we should welcome them into our world and let them benefit from our experiences. If you know a man with breast cancer, please take a few minutes to reach out to him and see if you can help him in his breast cancer journey.

When diagnosed with cancer, get a puppy

I read a really good book last night. The whole thing. 83 pages in a 5"x 8" book so its a very quick read. 'Survival Lessons' by Alice Hoffman. Yes the famous writer Alice Hoffman.

She had breast cancer 15 years before she wrote the book which came out last year. In the introduction she tells us it is her personal path to healing on her own terms. The book then shares what she learned during the course of her treatment, looking back after all that time. I hope I am as smart then as she is now.

In addition to telling us to get a puppy during treatment, she is full of good advice including 'choose to plan ahead' and 'choose to dream'. These are two very important things we often forget when coping with a cancer diagnosis.

It made me think in a good way. I will return it to the library shortly so others can benefit from it. I might reread it before I return it and I will definitely reread it again in the future.

Trapped in the breast cancer bubble

I look at my life these days and see breast cancer everywhere. I have a breast cancer blog, I have breast cancer groups on Facebook. I have breast cancer friends - people who I would never have met if not for my diagnosis. I have Google alerts for breast cancer which send me a daily dose of updates in the breast cancer world. I get emails from many organizations and websites on their latest news and fundraising efforts. I have more profiles on different cancer websites than I can remember that I should keep updated. I volunteer for organizations that support different cancer causes.

Am I supposed to embrace this into my life forever? Or am I supposed to ignore it and focus on my other health issues? Or should I ignore them all?

I was told a breast cancer diagnosis took a year out of your life and then it would return to normal. I can't remember which idiot told me that one but it is definitely not true on so many levels. I am in this bubble and trying to figure a way out.

I realize that breast cancer is one of the top killers of women in the US each year. But is it supposed to take over each of us as we are diagnosed and change our lives forever? Yes a cancer diagnosis is a life changing event but should it become the focus of everything else as well?

My world is not painted pink, its painted breast cancer.

Healthline Best Breast Cancer Blogs of 2014

Once again, I am very honored to be included in Healthline's Best Breast Cancer Blogs of 2014. For some reason, this is what they think of me:

"Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog is not just the story of a woman’s battle with cancer and the health complications that accompany treatment. It’s also a running commentary on the ins and outs of an evolving health care industry. But rather than rant about FDA rules, health insurance, and mammogram guidelines, Caroline Ronten brings a reasoned tone to the conversation. She asks the questions many of us also ponder.

Ronten will make you feel for her as she grapples with health problems beyond cancer. But she’ll also make you think about just what fixes are needed to make health care better for everyone."

I didn't know anyone thought that I had a reasoned tone or was reasonable but I am pleased to hear it and very  happy to be included in this list again, as in the past 3 or 4 years (I think).

I was reading through their list of the best cancer blogs and realized that I follow many of them and think they are very good. My blog reading list has grown in recent years as I have added the other blogs on the list to my reading list. I highly recommend following the other 20 blogs on the list as they provide a lot of thoughts and issues and commentary across the full gamut of breast cancer and its surrounding issues.

The Best Laid Plans

The best plans have a way of falling flat and causing anxiety and indecision. Today is our anniversary and we had planned a few days on the Cape to celebrate. My husband took yesterday off from work and I planned to work half a day, go to a doctor appointment and the hit the road around 3 to beat the worst of rush hour traffic. Well that didn't exactly work out.

My doctor wanted both blood work and an x-ray, of course. The blood lab was standing room only so I headed to x-ray which was very quick. The blood lab was standing room only still so I waited close to half an hour, when it usually is a five to ten minute deal. Finally I escaped and we got on the road after four which means traffic and the it started to rain as well. We arrived after six, checked in and got the notice that a lost key is a $50 fee.

Three trips to the car in the rain and we are missing a key. I put a leaky water bottle in a bag on the bed which manages to leak all through my bag -my knitting is wet, my pill box was drowned so I might be short a few pills for a day or two (but not the important ones) and the water soaked through the bedding into the mattress..... and its raining sideways so our ocean view is tempered by sheets of rain pouring down. The rain should stop shortly and we will proceed with our day.

One additional thing from yesterday is I spoke to my friend N who I blogged about last week,  B is home on hospice and not doing well at all. We plan to visit on Sunday to see her one last time but it maybe too late. I want to see her and told her I would bring her a beer. She laughed and said she would let us know if she wanted a beer or a glass of wine. I said her choice.

At this point if she wants to open a beer with friends and take a sip or just wet her lips with it, does it really matter? She probably hasn't had a beer in a while and no one has offered her one because she's on hospice and is clearly dying.... but hell if it was me, I would be very happy to have a glass of wine with friends if it was one of my last days on earth.

I just hope Sunday isn't too late. I will get a call if anything changes in the meantime... but of course the weather and cancer coordinate to mess up our plans for some time a way.

PS As always, a note to burglars we have a house sitter  in our absence.

Sad phone call

This morning I had a call from a friend who is in my breast cancer circle, N. She called because another friend from the same circle, B, is in the hospital and being moved home in hospice care. We all knew this was coming. B has been slowly going down hill since being diagnosed with metastases in early 2013. It is sad.

We talked about another friend who died of breast cancer last year. At the time B told N that something about she knew she was next. The downside of having a network of breast cancer friends there are some who go to stage IV at and then eventually they slowly go. 

I know a lot of women who have breast, or another type of, cancer. They all understand what happens with cancer and its progression. Some I know in person, like B and N, others I may have met a time or too, like J who is one year out from a stage IV diagnosis after 15 years clean since her original diagnosis, and others who I only know online. However closely I know them or at what distance, we know these calls and emails happen.

It was a sad phone call this morning. I hope to visit B soon. N will tell me after she sees her today when she would be up for a visit. It is a sad situation which I know will be repeated again and again.It is sad but it is also part of the circle of life.

Positivity

Healthline as part of their numerous efforts in caring for and providing information to patients has put together 14 inspiring breast cancer quotes. A few are below and you can see the rest here.

Positivity

Healthline as part of their numerous efforts in caring for and providing information to patients has put together 14 inspiring breast cancer quotes. A few are below and you can see the rest here.

Sad phone call

This morning I had a call from a friend who is in my breast cancer circle, N. She called because another friend from the same circle, B, is in the hospital and being moved home in hospice care. We all knew this was coming. B has been slowly going down hill since being diagnosed with metastases in early 2013. It is sad.

We talked about another friend who died of breast cancer last year. At the time B told N that something about she knew she was next. The downside of having a network of breast cancer friends there are some who go to stage IV at and then eventually they slowly go. 

I know a lot of women who have breast, or another type of, cancer. They all understand what happens with cancer and its progression. Some I know in person, like B and N, others I may have met a time or too, like J who is one year out from a stage IV diagnosis after 15 years clean since her original diagnosis, and others who I only know online. However closely I know them or at what distance, we know these calls and emails happen.

It was a sad phone call this morning. I hope to visit B soon. N will tell me after she sees her today when she would be up for a visit. It is a sad situation which I know will be repeated again and again.It is sad but it is also part of the circle of life.

Another hidden side of breast cancer - male patients

Yes breast cancer can and does occur in men. Less than 0.1 percent of all breast cancer diagnoses are male (I think that's the number - its very low). Until I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had no idea men could get breast cancer. Then a friend's cat died of breast cancer. Basically any animal with the right physiology can get breast cancer.

So if you think its bad to get breast cancer as a woman. How do you think a man would feel if he walked into the breast cancer treatment area and its full of women? Or he had to go for a mammogram in the 'pink area' of the hospital?

I can't imagine what it would like to be dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis and feeling literally like the 'odd man out' in the women focused world of breast cancer. 

I can  think of numerous places and instances during my cancer treatment that I felt was very female focused. Even the exam rooms are filled with pictures, diagrams, and schematics for breast cancer diagnosis and treatment all focused on the female body.

But it happens, men do get breast cancer, and we should welcome them into our world and let them benefit from our experiences. If you know a man with breast cancer, please take a few minutes to reach out to him and see if you can help him in his breast cancer journey.

More on men with breast cancer

One of every one hundred cases of breast cancer diagnosed will be male. And did you know that one in four men diagnosed with breast cancer will die from it? Two men who were diagnosed with breast cancer and bonded over it, joined to create a new organization called Breast Cancer Brothers to help support men going through this terrible disease.

An independent film is being made about their journey called "Times Like These" 

There are no big research studies on male breast cancer. All their treatments are based on studies done on women. This is so sad.

When diagnosed with cancer, get a puppy

I read a really good book last night. The whole thing. 83 pages in a 5"x 8" book so its a very quick read. 'Survival Lessons' by Alice Hoffman. Yes the famous writer Alice Hoffman.

She had breast cancer 15 years before she wrote the book which came out last year. In the introduction she tells us it is her personal path to healing on her own terms. The book then shares what she learned during the course of her treatment, looking back after all that time. I hope I am as smart then as she is now.

In addition to telling us to get a puppy during treatment, she is full of good advice including 'choose to plan ahead' and 'choose to dream'. These are two very important things we often forget when coping with a cancer diagnosis.

It made me think in a good way. I will return it to the library shortly so others can benefit from it. I might reread it before I return it and I will definitely reread it again in the future.

Healthline Best Breast Cancer Blogs of 2014

Once again, I am very honored to be included in Healthline's Best Breast Cancer Blogs of 2014. For some reason, this is what they think of me:

"Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog is not just the story of a woman’s battle with cancer and the health complications that accompany treatment. It’s also a running commentary on the ins and outs of an evolving health care industry. But rather than rant about FDA rules, health insurance, and mammogram guidelines, Caroline Ronten brings a reasoned tone to the conversation. She asks the questions many of us also ponder.

Ronten will make you feel for her as she grapples with health problems beyond cancer. But she’ll also make you think about just what fixes are needed to make health care better for everyone."

I didn't know anyone thought that I had a reasoned tone or was reasonable but I am pleased to hear it and very  happy to be included in this list again, as in the past 3 or 4 years (I think).

I was reading through their list of the best cancer blogs and realized that I follow many of them and think they are very good. My blog reading list has grown in recent years as I have added the other blogs on the list to my reading list. I highly recommend following the other 20 blogs on the list as they provide a lot of thoughts and issues and commentary across the full gamut of breast cancer and its surrounding issues.

Trapped in the breast cancer bubble

I look at my life these days and see breast cancer everywhere. I have a breast cancer blog, I have breast cancer groups on Facebook. I have breast cancer friends - people who I would never have met if not for my diagnosis. I have Google alerts for breast cancer which send me a daily dose of updates in the breast cancer world. I get emails from many organizations and websites on their latest news and fundraising efforts. I have more profiles on different cancer websites than I can remember that I should keep updated. I volunteer for organizations that support different cancer causes.

Am I supposed to embrace this into my life forever? Or am I supposed to ignore it and focus on my other health issues? Or should I ignore them all?

I was told a breast cancer diagnosis took a year out of your life and then it would return to normal. I can't remember which idiot told me that one but it is definitely not true on so many levels. I am in this bubble and trying to figure a way out.

I realize that breast cancer is one of the top killers of women in the US each year. But is it supposed to take over each of us as we are diagnosed and change our lives forever? Yes a cancer diagnosis is a life changing event but should it become the focus of everything else as well?

My world is not painted pink, its painted breast cancer.

A life changing experience

I am not writing this as a fundraising plea but to tell about a life changing experience. We all may need these sometimes.

There are breast cancer retreats, support groups, pink groups, pink girls, and I can go on and on and on. But occasionally one comes along which is a life changing experience for the participants. A good example of that is Casting for Recovery. It teaches women with breast cancer a new skill, provides psychosocial and medical support, and after a three day all expense paid weekend, have a life changing experience. Read this story about a woman in Oregon and her experience on the retreat. 

When I first heard about Casting for Recovery, I thought how cool is that. I'll have to sign up and I did. Then when I was driving to the retreat stuck in Cape traffic on an August Friday afternoon, I thought to myself: 'What am I doing? Going away for the weekend with a bunch of strangers. How did I get myself into this one?' And I came up with a plan. I was going to have gall bladder surgery a month later. I decided if it was awful, I could always fake a gall bladder attack and leave.

By the end of the weekend, I had new friends, reached a new level of acceptance with my medical history, and relearned some childhood fly fishing skills. It was a life changing experience for me.

The Best Laid Plans

The best plans have a way of falling flat and causing anxiety and indecision. Today is our anniversary and we had planned a few days on the Cape to celebrate. My husband took yesterday off from work and I planned to work half a day, go to a doctor appointment and the hit the road around 3 to beat the worst of rush hour traffic. Well that didn't exactly work out.

My doctor wanted both blood work and an x-ray, of course. The blood lab was standing room only so I headed to x-ray which was very quick. The blood lab was standing room only still so I waited close to half an hour, when it usually is a five to ten minute deal. Finally I escaped and we got on the road after four which means traffic and the it started to rain as well. We arrived after six, checked in and got the notice that a lost key is a $50 fee.

Three trips to the car in the rain and we are missing a key. I put a leaky water bottle in a bag on the bed which manages to leak all through my bag -my knitting is wet, my pill box was drowned so I might be short a few pills for a day or two (but not the important ones) and the water soaked through the bedding into the mattress..... and its raining sideways so our ocean view is tempered by sheets of rain pouring down. The rain should stop shortly and we will proceed with our day.

One additional thing from yesterday is I spoke to my friend N who I blogged about last week,  B is home on hospice and not doing well at all. We plan to visit on Sunday to see her one last time but it maybe too late. I want to see her and told her I would bring her a beer. She laughed and said she would let us know if she wanted a beer or a glass of wine. I said her choice.

At this point if she wants to open a beer with friends and take a sip or just wet her lips with it, does it really matter? She probably hasn't had a beer in a while and no one has offered her one because she's on hospice and is clearly dying.... but hell if it was me, I would be very happy to have a glass of wine with friends if it was one of my last days on earth.

I just hope Sunday isn't too late. I will get a call if anything changes in the meantime... but of course the weather and cancer coordinate to mess up our plans for some time a way.

PS As always, a note to burglars we have a house sitter  in our absence.