Paying it forward...

My FIRST Pandora:) XOXOXO

I had a whacked out week.  Had an insane yet so successful Ladies Night at Trappers II (that is in Minoa people!!). I got crap news at the doctor's office complete with a run around. I felt like shit and was very discouraged. Got called names by several people for just being me and doing what I can to help others with stupid dumb breast cancer. My boobs went off at the court house and held up the line (ok that was hilarious but still a little bizarre). BUT BUT BUT......

My girlfriend Tina called, emailed and even knocked down a few doors to get me some donations. Seriously, amazing friend here who has always had my back and now has my front! My "seestar" Gina even with her hectic life made a call to get a donation that arrived the NEXT day. This girl would do anything for a friend and I love her for it. THEN......a beautiful woman who I have never met ever in my life, sent me the above bracelet! I mean WOW how the hell do I thank her. It is beautifully pink and it brought tears to my eyes. And I hate being a sap but seriously the kindness is unreal!! Valary did this because she wanted to make me smile, she did that and so much more. How many people have done something like that just out of kindness because they wanted to?? My grandmother told me my mom used to say "do it from your heart or not all". I have no idea if she ever said this she died when I was 1 but my entire life I have lived by this. Which is way if I say something or do it you know I really meant it, I am that straight up. To see friends that I have known forever, ones I have known for a few years and strangers I have never known do this amazes me and gives me HOPE. This is all joining in the fight against stupid dumb breast cancer, through donations and gifts of hope. Stop what you are doing today whether it is at the soccer field, baseball game, running errands and do something to make someone smile. Buy a coffee for a stranger or a cookie for the man in line at the snack shack or a candy bar for the cashier at the store or help someone get their groceries into the car JOIN the race with a friend and pay for their registration (you know I had to add that). DO SOMETHING and say "This is for Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer's pay back". Post it here or Face book. I triple dog double dare your ass!! I beat you get more out of it than the person you are making SMILE!! PINK POWER today people:)

random book

Last week, I saw my book on the shelf at Chapters. I had walked in the back door of the store on Rideau Street, which leads straight into the health section. And there it was - or rather there they were. Three copies of my book just sitting on a shelf in a book store. It was a thrill to see it there. I had to call my spouse right away to tell him.

I had to go back to the same Chapters three days later (I had left my glasses in the store). I couldn't help going back to visit my book. There were only two copies left! They had sold one! I took a couple of steps away and then went back to pull a copy out so that the title page faced towards the front.

My heart still belongs to independent book stores, though. They are owned by booklovers, have knowledgeable staff and are the most supportive of writers. If you can buy my book through your local independent, I strongly encourage it. And if your local bookstore carries my book, let me know. I'll put their logo and a link in my sidebar.

I am quoted in a recent BlogHer article by web teacher Virginia DeBolt. Her post, "Self-Promote Your Book Using The Internet" has some really interesting ideas. I had never thought of doing a book trailer, for example. Of course, I still need to write content for the book's web site.

I also want to remind those of you in Toronto that the Not Done Yet launch will take place at the Toronto Women's Bookstore (73 Harbord, near Spadina) on October 22 from 7-9pm.

go read this

Throughout BREAST CANCER AWARENESS month, I'm going to be featuring posts from around the web that really resonate with me on the subject of pinkwashing.

Today's post called Breast Cancer Awareness, Jersey Shore Style is from The Cancer Culture Chronicles.

"This is how "In Jersey / Jersey Shore Magazine" depicts what they think is important for the women of the Jersey Shore area to know about breast cancer...On page 52 we're treated to a Tickled Pink fashion spread of glossy made-up survivors in their breast cancer charity of choice t-shirts and then bedazzled in all manner of pink ribbon accessories and jewellery all available for purchase at listed stockists. As for the copy; here's my personal favorite..."showcased here in an array of pink items, they show a verve and vitality that is the essence of the spirit of all survivors...." Nothing says verve and vitality like a $139.95 Sparkle Strong Breast Cancer Survivor Necklace I guess!"

If you want to understand more about living with metastatic breast cancer and why some of us bristle (and even rage) about all the pink crap, check out the info on the right side of the blog. Well written, informative and entertaining. This blog is well worth reading.

being the first

It turns out that a cardio-oncologist is a doc who knows something about the heart and oncology drugs. The guy I met yesterday looked way too young too have studied for that many years but really did seem to know his stuff.

Perhaps I'm just getting old.

Some things I learned:

My heart was permanently damaged by the Adriamycin. As a result, my ejection fraction has been bouncing around the low range of normal for years.

Echo cardiograms have a ten point margin of error, so my ejection fraction may not have dropped as much as it appeared.

I have no symptoms of heart failure.

Should I have the symptoms of heart failure, I should go to emergency (no kidding!).

There is no reason that I cannot engage in vigorous excercise (there goes my excuse for not running).

I don't need to stop Herceptin (awesome news).

I might have to go on a drug that protects my heart. The doc is on the fence about it right now but if my ejection fraction drops much more, than he will prescribe it.

Even then, I still won't have to stop Herceptin.

I am being sent for a MUGA - a different kind of heart scan - to see if it picks up anything different than my echo.

I mentioned that there must be some uncertainty, given that he likely hasn't seen many people who've been on Herceptin on a long term basis.

He told me that I am the first. But that there will likely be many more.

keep your head down

It's begun.

The annual barrage of pinkwashed crap and pinxploitation is in full swing.

And I really don't feel like talking about it. What I want to do is stay home for the rest of October and not open any emails until this month is done. Enough already. Now that it seems that more people can relate to my pink ribbon anathema, why haven't the pitches slowed down or the products become harder to find?

I want to make like an ostrich and just wait until it all goes away.

Instead, and to spare myself the need to get worked into a lather, I'll direct you to the right sidebar of this blog. Scroll down to the "labels." Click on the one marked "don't buy pink crap" (or just click on this link to go there directly) and you can read rants, observations, a little analysis and links to the blogs of some compadres.

Speaking of compadres, these great bloggers are kindred spirits, when it comes to pinkwashing:

i hatebreastcancer

Uneasy Pink

Gayle Sulik (author of Pink Ribbon Blues)

The Assertive Cancer Patient

Nancy's Point

and, of course, the late, great Rachel of Cancer Culture Chronicles

I'm sure I'm forgetting some bloggers and I'm sure there are more that I don't know. Do you have others you could add to the list? Let's make an anti-pink blogroll!

(As an aside, I note that all but one of these blogs is written by women with metastasis. I will be writing more about living with mets amidst the pink ribbons in the next few days)

I also can't resist another chance to put in a plug for Pink Ribbons Inc, the movie that explains it all and does it very powerfully.

Updated to add:

 A great article from the web site xojane: I Hate Breast Cancer 'Awareness' Month.

October:  Breast Cancer Awareness Scam Month by Suzanne Reisman. Suzanne writes a post for BlogHer on this subject every year. And her words meant a great deal to me in October 2006 when the shock of a pinkwashed world first hit me. I even quoted her in my book!

i ran for the cure

photo: Ian Hendel

With my sister.

At the finish line.

Wearing my Songbird scarf.

And my hat from Texas.

Team NO PINK FOR PROFIT was 43 members strong. We raised a whopping $25,000.

Sometimes life is very sweet.

Anthony Jude the way cool dude

I love the way you make pancakes all by yourself and how proud you are when everyone eats them up. I love when you read a book to Jules all snuggled on the couch. I love watching you play soccer with the older boys because I know you are giving it your all. I love the smile on your face when its Sunday and we are having rigatonis! I love that you are named after my mom. I love listening to you sing even though the lyrics are completely inappropriate. I love you even though when I think of your delivery I can only remember punching daddy and screaming at anyone that entered, once a pain always a pain! I  love that today you turn 8 cause 8 is great just like you!

All of this almost negates the fact you pick on your brothers and taunt them while walking through the house in muddy cleats! But the fact that you out of all the kids treats me like a princess makes you my favorite (just don’t tell the others).